Yesterday, Yuki was able to receive chemotherapy. Balancing treatment and side effects is difficult, but for now, he continues the treatment.
This afternoon, he will join a jam session. I will participate in an online meeting of shuukatsu advisers.
Shuukatsu is a Japanese concept that refers to end-of-life planning, such as organizing personal matters, caregiving arrangements, and funeral preferences. I obtained a private shuukatsu adviser certification. I do not plan to work using this qualification; however, while organizing the knowledge and information I gained through my late mother and my late mother-in-law as they aged, I was able to earn it. Recently, many people working in insurance, caregiving, and funeral-related fields have begun obtaining this certification.
Today is Yuki’s hospital day. Since he couldn’t receive his treatment last week, we think he will probably be able to have chemotherapy this week. That’s good news, but it also means that the side effects—which had calmed down during his break—will trouble him again. There’s no way around it.
As I wrote before, Yuki quit all his tennis clubs except one, and instead he has started going to a light-exercise gym. He thought he could handle the machine exercises easily—and he actually could—but because all the exercises were new to his body, his hip muscles started to hurt. So he has also begun visiting a nearby Japanese-style bodywork and massage clinic. It feels like the typical life of an elderly person, doesn’t it?
Yesterday I joined an online English meeting. The topics are... "Appliances"
◆What is an appliance that you have bought but rarely ever use? What does it do?
We usually use the appliances we buy, and if we notice we have something we rarely use, we usually let go of it.
I checked the shelf in my kitchen and realized that I have a juicer. I use it sometimes, but I’ve only used the attachment that grates daikon radish once.
If I looked through all my appliances, I’d probably find some attachments I hardly ever use.
◆When did you last buy an appliance? Why did you decide to buy this machine?
I recently bought a microwave-safe grill pan that lets you grill fish in the microwave and even gives it a nice sear.
We thought we should eat more fish, but washing the regular grill is troublesome.
◆How many appliances do you have in your kitchen? Which do you use the most?
At a quick glance, I have eight appliances including the refrigerator in my kitchen.
But if I include the smaller ones stored in the cupboards as well, I probably have more than twenty in total.
I use my microwave-safe grill pan, yogurt maker, and electric kettle the most.
Today is the second Tuesday, the day of my performance with my friend at Karaku Café. This past month went by so quickly. Though you may not believe it, I always feel a little anxious about whether I’ll be able to go to Karaku again next time.
Today I’m going to wear a red sweater and white pants—like Santa without his bag.
Yesterday, just as we expected, the doctor instructed Yuki to take a break from his chemotherapy. Reducing the numbness was given top priority. So he was supposed to come home earlier than usual, but there was also a mistake with the prescription, and in the end, it turned into a long day as usual.
Because of that, I missed my dental appointment, so I’m going today to have the stitches removed.
From now on, we will probably always feel anxious about choosing between continuing the treatment and reducing the side effects. But for now, at least, he still has something to treat—or suppress—his tumors. It’s scary that the future looks even more uncertain, but somehow I have to learn to accept it.
Today is Yuki’s hospital day. He will probably have to take a break from his medication.
We—especially I—feel that he needs time to recover his physical strength, and if he rests from the treatment, his strength may come back. Of course, the tumor might become active again as well, but even so, we think rest is important for now.
According to his schedule, he plans to play tennis tomorrow and join his jam session the day after tomorrow.
Yesterday, we (mainly I) almost finished cleaning the windows, which is our top priority for winter cleaning. Our motto is that trying our best is what matters most—the result comes second.
I wiped the windows with cleaner, so the dust was removed. But as you know, I’m not a very careful person—I am a bit sloppy—so there are still streaks on the windows. Additionally, I don’t plan to wash the lace curtains.
Today I am going to hold my laughter yoga meeting. Unfortunately one woman has to cancel because she has to go to the dentist. Today’s laughter yoga meeting is the last one of this year. Probably next meeting will be in February. I hope I will be able to held it next year.
In the afternoon, the architect is coming. We’re looking forward to seeing what kind of plans he’ll bring. On the other hand, we already know the estimate will be over our budget, so we are a bit worried.
The bathroom renovation was part of our retirement plan. We planned to renovate after turning 65. But the economic situation has completely changed since then.
Even so, we’ve been steadily using our retirement funds as planned—which means our savings have been decreasing exactly as expected. In a way, that’s pretty amazing. I take pride in being stingy.
December has started!!!
Yesterday I went to do sutra copying, and I talked a little with the head priest. I’m not a Buddhist, but in Japan Buddhist elements are part of everyday life, so I can go and do sutra copying without feeling any resistance. It seems I enjoy gentle spiritual cultivation — not rigorous training.
It’s the last day of November, isn’t it? One of our winter chores—cleaning the windows—is almost finished.
Yesterday we even had a little quarrel about it. He cleaned the kids’ room windows very quickly, even though that room has the most windows in the house.
I hadn’t realized that he had never cleaned the outside surfaces because he thought it was dangerous.
My idea was simply to clean as far as I could reach, sitting on the window ledge.
But he said there was no point in doing it halfway.
Now, though, he gets unsteady when he stands on a chair, so cleaning the windows is a bit difficult for him. So I just cleaned the parts I could reach.
I think it’s enough that we did it, even if it’s not perfect.
Today was supposed to be his tennis day, but he cancelled. These days he only plays one game, and since the group is small, he felt that playing just one game might trouble the others. He sent them a message saying he’ll join when he feels well.
In a way, it feels like he’s stepping back from the group.
It’s Saturday. Monday was a holiday, so our granddaughter came over, but since yesterday she’s come down with the flu.
Yesterday Yuki had chemotherapy. His white blood count wasn’t great, but he was able to get the treatment anyway. He told his doctor about the things bothering him—numbness, a hoarse voice, low stamina, and unsteadiness.
Some of these are from the medication for chemo, and some are from his illness. Some tumors are getting smaller, but others are still active, so things are pretty unstable right now. He’ll probably have a break from treatment next week.
He’s also thinking about his daily tennis. He’ll probably go less often, but then it’ll be harder to keep his muscle strength. So I suggested he try the nearby gym with training machines. He’s going to try it out tomorrow—maybe about 30 minutes of exercise.
He also suggested buying a training bike. We used to have one, but we hardly used it, and getting rid of it was a pain. So of course I said no.
Today is Yuki’s hospital day. His condition isn’t as good as last week — it suddenly dropped this week. But he’s still stronger than I am.
We’re not sure if he can get chemotherapy today. It sounds strange, but if he can’t because his blood test results aren’t good, we would accept it, even though it’s disappointing. On the other hand, if he can take it, we’ll ask the doctor whether it’s possible to take a half dose.
We’ll leave home in about an hour.
Anyway that’s one problem solved. I’m relieved.
Yesterday I was supposed to go to the dentist, but the appointment got moved to today because of the doctor’s schedule.
It was colder than we expected, so we just stayed home and took it easy in the afternoon.
I got a lot of yuzu (a type of Japanese citrus ) so I sliced them and soaked them in honey.
Today Yuki will play tennis after he goes to the clinic. Honestly, his stamina has dropped, and his tennis friends seem a bit worried about him, though they still welcome him warmly. Even just one game is enough, I think. But he’s not satisfied with that and sometimes feels depressed about his current condition.
It is the last day of this three-day weekend. Our granddaughter and daughter are now on their way here by train. Yuki left home just now to pick them up at the station.
In the morning, the three of them are going to play tennis. Yuki has already booked a court.
To tell the truth, I have a headache, but no fever, so I’m all right. I think I got a bit socially fatigued yesterday. I talked with our 83-year-old neighbor who lives alone. Even though she spends most of her days at home because her legs aren’t very strong and she can’t drive, she still lives an active and independent life in her own way. I told her that seeing her active and independent daily life gives younger people like me an ideal model—especially because more and more people will live alone in their later years. It reminded me of how I used to feel after talking with my mother when I visited her once or twice a month.
Our busy and fun day is off to a start.
It’s Saturday. In the morning, Yuki is going to play tennis, and I’ll probably go to the gym.
Yesterday he was able to take chemotherapy, and at this stage his team has decided to continue with it. He’ll have a CT scan right after the New Year holiday — earlier than originally planned. At that point, they will decide whether he should receive radiation.
The three of us mainly talked about his numbness. If Yuki’s quality of life drops significantly, the current chemotherapy should be stopped, even though it has been effective in keeping the tumors from progressing. The doctor also told me, “If you, as his family, feel that his quality of life has clearly decreased, please let me know.”
After the consultation, when we stepped out of the room, Yuki told me that he wants to continue the treatment as long as it’s working — even until the point where he can no longer hold a pen.
Friday has come. It’s Yuki’s hospital day.
During yesterday’s CBT session, I was focusing on “doing what we can do today.” When I came home, I realized that I can’t really imagine our future. All we can do is go with the flow.
When I listen to world news—the news feels far removed from our daily life—I hear that relations with China are becoming unstable. In New York City, a young socialist was elected mayor. Wars continue here and there.
All of these things make us anxious. In the end, we can only go with the flow.
Today is Costco day—or my CBT (day.
It’s been a month since we last went, and this month felt strangely long.
Yesterday an architect, Mr. S, came over. We hadn’t seen him in seven years. He’s 75 now but still really active. He still works, but honestly his main job (not job) seems to be playing golf. We ended up talking about golf clubs for half the time.
Mr. S probably noticed Yuki’s situation—Yuki even told him he’s dealing with an illness—but Mr. S didn’t bring it up. He just kept things light and talked about golf so Yuki could enjoy the moment. Even though it’s getting a bit hard for Yuki to grip a club tightly, he still looked inspired to go golfing.
Today, after having lunch at home, we are going to see his radiologist. We’ll be able to hear a clearer explanation of the CT results.
Yesterday, we also went to a musical instrument shop, where Yuki found his favorite guitar picks. So in the afternoon, Yuki practiced the guitar and I practiced the piano more eagerly than usual as we prepare for Christmas.
Since yesterday afternoon, I have been working on setting up my new iPhone. This time I decided to do it by myself, but I stopped at the very first step. An operation guide was included with the new phone, but it was difficult for me to understand So I called the company’s help desk. The staff suggested two options: one was to go directly to a company’s branch, and the other was to use a remote-support service. The fee is only 400 yen per month, and the first time is free, so I applied for the service.
I just followed the instructions from the support person, and now all my data has been safely transferred to the new iPhone. Today I will move my SIM card to the new phone, and then I need to initialize the old one and send it back to the company.
Also, some things were not written in the guide because it only explains iPhone operations, and not how to connect it to the phone line, including cellphone mail and so on.
Yuki couldn’t do that part either at first, but thanks to my method, he was also able to set up the part he had given up on.
Yesterday, Yuki was able to receive his chemotherapy. The doctor also showed us the results of his latest CT and MRI scans. His malignant tumors have shrunk by about 20% compared with the previous results. Unfortunately, they haven’t disappeared, but we hope he can continue to coexist with them.
On the other hand, his numbness is getting a little worse. So the amount of his medication has been increased again, and he also started taking Japanese herbal medicine. The sensations in his fingers and toes are dull, so he needs to be careful not to get burned or fall down.
Anyway, today he is going to play tennis.
This Thursday he updated his iPhone using the company’s insurance service. It’s not the latest model, but it’s still newer than his previous one. I will also update mine using the same service. When I change my iPhone with my insurance plan, it takes about half a day to transfer all the data and apps from the old phone to the new one. Probably my new iPhone will arrive in the morning, and I’ll have to transfer everything in the afternoon.
Yesterday’s online meeting topic was spreadsheet software. We talked about “Excel.
◆Can you remember the first time you used Excel?
Yes, I was in my twenties. After graduating from university, I joined a company where I needed to use Office software, including Excel. At first, it was challenging, but once I got used to it, I found it very useful. After quitting the job, I used it for PTA activities, and even now I use it to manage our household budget.
◆What do you use Excel for in your personal and work life?
I use Excel to manage our household budget. I also use it when we need to make lists of things. But I don’t use all of its features, such as the statistical or graph features.
◆What new features would you like added to Excel?
Honestly, I don’t really need any new features. Since I started using Excel, it has been updated many times, and I can’t keep up with all the new features, even though the software keeps improving.
There were five Japanese members, and I was the eldest. The others were in their 40s or early 50s. One lady is an office worker, and the others are probably housewives or have part-time jobs—I’m not sure. What surprised me was that all of them use Excel in their personal lives.
Around me, meaning people in their 60s or older, few use Excel; some use Word or PowerPoint. I didn’t realize that Excel is so familiar to the younger generation. But probably my daughters don’t use Excel—they use other apps directly. I mainly use Excel for our annual household balance sheet and to estimate how our savings might decrease in the future, although I also keep our household balance using a budgeting app. Many younger people probably don’t use software directly; instead, they use apps designed for specific purposes. Do you use Excel?
A new week has started. This Friday is Yuki’s hospital day, and tomorrow he will also have a CT and MRI. We are a little anxious. Yuki still has a hoarse voice and feels something strange when he swallows.
Anyway, this morning Yuki is going to his clinic, and I’m going to the orthopedic clinic.
It’s a rainy day, so we’ll just stay home and take it easy.
Yuki is going to get a haircut. Because of the side effects, the top of his head is almost bald, but the hair around the nape of his neck has grown out, so it looks a bit unbalanced.
This week Yuki is taking a break from chemotherapy. He says the numbness in his hands has gotten a bit better. He still plays tennis and the guitar, though he’s not as good as he used to be. He hasn’t played golf lately because it’s a bit hard for him to hold the clubs tightly.
Anyway, today he’s off to play tennis, and I’m going to the dentist. My root canal treatment is taking such a long time!
It’s Friday. It’s sunny and not so cold.
Today Yuki is going to his clinic, and I’ll do my personal exercise with an AI program.
Yesterday I went to a 30-minute circuit workout, and my hip joint hurts a little.
We’ll probably have lunch out and drop by a discount shop.
In the evening, we both have dental appointments.
It’s just another ordinary day for us.
Yesterday we completed all our plans, though we had lunch outside.
We stopped by our favorite shrine and prayed. Yuki’s photo today is of Yuzu growing at the shrine.
Today I’m holding a laughter yoga chat meeting, I prepared youkan, a traditional Japanese sweet, for the members．
Today Yuki is taking part in a jazz festival. I’ll stay home, though I was planning to go see it. It’s a sunny day. Sometimes it’s nice to spend a lazy day at home alone, even though I often do spend my days lazily.
While our elder daughter was staying with us, she holed up in her room and worked quietly by herself, but we usually had three meals together. Compared with our usual life for just the two of us, we talked more. It was fun — and now I need to get used to our usual quiet life again.
Looking back, October was a busy month.
Yesterday, Yuki was able to get his chemotherapy, and next week he will take a break from it.
My elder daughter went back to Tokyo yesterday.
Our usual days have started again. According to the calendar, it’s a three-day weekend.
This morning, Yuki will play tennis, and in the afternoon he plans to visit some used shops to look for music gadgets.
Tomorrow he’ll join a jazz festival, and on Monday, if the weather is fine, we’ll go to a museum.
Anyway, it seems we’ll spend a calm and pleasant three days off.
Our elder daughter is staying with us. She has already started working on her art pieces.
This morning, Yuki and I will go to the clinic.
After having lunch at home (we’ll probably buy three lunch boxes on our way back), we plan to attend the first meeting for cancer patients and their families at the hospital. I’m glad they are finally holding such a meeting.
I’m surprised that Yuki will go with me. Two years ago, I joined a similar meeting organized by an NPO, and I sometimes take part in their meetings. But he doesn’t.
This time, the participants are limited to the patients of the hospital. Since it’s the first meeting, we don’t know whether there will be a second one or whether we will join it again.
In the evening, I was going to give a piano lesson, but I canceled it for today.
Today we are going to see our lawyer. Yuki’s inheritance issue is progressing, which is a good thing. In the morning, he will go to play tennis.
In a few hours, my elder daughter will come. She will stay for a few days to work in my house. Her solo exhibition is planned to be held in December. She says that while she’s finishing her last pieces, there might be some noise, so she decided to work here. I’m not sure if it’s all right to do it here, though.
Yesterday was my volunteer reading day at the library. I was happy that many families came to the story corner.
This time, an ALT teacher joined me. She was born in Malaysia and studied in Australia for ten years. Then she came to Japan as an English teacher. After the volunteer reading, Yuki also came, and the three of us had lunch together. Since Yuki has been to Malaysia, he was very happy to talk about her country.
Today it is raining. Yuki has no plans except watching TV. I will go to a temple to copy sutra in the afternoon.
Thankfully, Yuki was able to receive chemotherapy this week. Last week he couldn’t, but that actually turned out to be good — his white blood cell count to increase. The current chemotherapy seems to be effective. We still don’t know how long he will be able to continue, but we want to maintain his (and my) quality of life while living with cancer.
Either way, we’re relieved after his chemotherapy yesterday.
Today is my volunteer reading day at the library.
It’s really cold today — where has autumn gone?
Yuki’s inheritance issue is proceeding little by little with our lawyer, which is good.
Today our schedule isn’t so tight. In the morning, Yuki will go to his clinic. I’m still wondering whether to go with him or not. I was supposed to do a 35-minute AI exercise program, but I don’t feel up to it because of the cold weather. While he’s seeing his doctor, I might take the exercise — or I might just stay home lazily.
In the evening, he plans to go to a radon sauna, which is about an hour’s drive away. A high school student will come for my piano lesson.
Yesterday we saw Yuki’s ENT doctor. The muscles of his vocal cords are getting better, but not perfect yet. It will take more time for his voice to return to normal, or it might be difficult, since he had radiation treatment to his neck.
Today, a friend I haven’t seen for a long time will stop by on her way home from work. I’ll give her most of my Halloween goods. She’s about the same age as I am, and she’s still working as a nursery teacher.
It is sunny, though the weather is expected to change in the evening.
Today Yuki will join a big jazz festival in a large park with his group. It is held every year, and luckily he can join again this year.
I will take part in an online meeting for cancer patients and their families.
To tell the truth, yesterday was my late mother’s third memorial ceremony. My daughters attended, but I couldn’t. It can’t be helped.
It’s sunny today. As soon as Yuki woke up, he put his futon and mat out in the sun to dry.
He doesn’t need to go to the hospital today, so he’s going to play tennis.
I’ll go for my 35-minute physical therapy session with the AI program. I still have some trouble with my hip joint.
In the afternoon, we’ll go to Yuki’s clinic and then to our dentist.
Tonight, my friend will appear on a local radio program. I’m really looking forward to listening to her.
Yesterday I joined an online meeting. The topic was tea.
◆ How many cups of tea do you drink in a day? When do you usually drink tea?
I usually have two cups of coffee with my breakfast. I don’t have a particular time for tea, and I don’t really know how many times I drink it in a day. In a way, I might be drinking tea all the time.
During the summer, I always fill my 500 ml water bottle with barley tea and take it everywhere, even when I’m just moving from room to room at home. Sometimes I refill it. I sip it little by little to prevent heatstroke.
During the cold season, I also fill my water bottle with hot Japanese tea.
◆ Do you have any herbal teas at home? What kinds?
Yes, I have some herbal drinks at home. There are three plants I use: one is lemongrass, which I make into lemongrass water; another is mulberry; and the other is loquat, which I use for herbal tea.
For guests, I have oolong tea leaves and jasmine tea leaves. Are these Chinese teas or herbal teas? I’m not sure.
Yesterday I didn’t feel well, so I stayed in bed. We had planned to go to Yuki’s friend’s band concert, but I couldn’t, so Yuki went there alone.
Recently, it has suddenly gotten cold. Actually, three days ago I was planning to go to a lecture at a big hall. I bought the ticket half a year ago, but I couldn’t go. My friend went in my place. I was lying in bed that day, too—no fever, though.
Maybe my body hasn’t adjusted to the sudden change in temperature yet, or it might be something like seasonal affective disorder, a term I recently learned from a doctor.
Anyway, I’m all right. My appetite is good. Last night we had meat cooked with our microwave-safe fish grill.
Today is the day of Karaku—my performance day with my friend. Yuki has his band practice, too. It’s nice that we both have at least one thing to do besides our usual errands.
Why am I a little tired? One reason is that last Friday was Yuki’s hospital day, which made me tired. The next day was really cold — many people were wearing winter coats, though I stayed home. And yesterday, my younger daughter and granddaughter came over like a typhoon!
Yesterday I visited a friend and brought her some Japanese pears that I had bought at an orchard the day before yesterday. She was very glad to receive them.
In the afternoon, Yuki and I stayed home. I opened my house library, but unfortunately, no one came. However, my elder daughter called me, and we talked for a long time.
Did I tell you? Last week, a woman who lives in an apartment near my house visited and borrowed some books from my house library. She’s in her 70s and lives alone. I told my daughter about her, and she complimented me, saying it’s wonderful that I’ve kept up my small activity—my “house library”—even though people don’t come very often.
Yesterday felt like a long day. Our appointment with the doctor was at 11:30. Yuki had a blood test and an X-ray first, so he went to the hospital at 10. I went a little later, around 11. We finally saw the doctor at 2.
Yuki was able to start his second round of chemotherapy right after the first one last week. His white blood cell count was not too bad, though we are not sure how it will be next week, since chemotherapy lowers it. He came home around 6. I came home before 4, then went to the dentist.
Today he is feeling fine so goes to play tennis.
I will change the covers and carpets from summer to autumn.
Addditionally, this morning we even had a small discussion—maybe more like a quarrel—about foods that boost immunity. His voice is still hoarse, but when he talks in his usual theoretical way, it sometimes irritates me. I know it shows he is doing well enough to argue.
Today we go to the hospital. Yuki may start the second round of chemotherapy right after the first, or the doctor may give him a rest this week.
Before seeing the doctor, he needs a blood test and an X-ray. While he is doing that, I will go to the station building to do 25 exercises with my AI program.
Yesterday I had lunch with a gym friend for the first time in four months. We used to meet outside once a month, but maybe that time has ended. Yesterday we had a good time, but both of us felt a little hesitant. Yuki’s condition has changed, and her situation also changed a little. Anyway, at the gym we are still good friends.
