Monday, December 15, 2014

after chirdbirth crisis

Now Akari is fine, she can pre-roll-over.
She came here with cold, and her mother had a cold too. So I took care of them instead of her father. Her father also had a cold, but he had to work,though I also had to have lesson at home.

Since Akari was born, she and her mother often? come here. Probably I should say to M "you made your bed, now sleep in it." Actually since my friends became grand mothers they have  often accepted  their grandchild and "daughter" (not son or daughter-in-law), I used to think that why they have spoiled their daughters. --Now I'm laughed by them and I also laugh by myself. I can't say "no''. because her husband, and even her mother-in-low asked me to take care of them. Of course Yuki asks me to take care of them. and to be surprised he helps me more than he was a father.

These days the word "after childbirth crisis" is becoming popular. In January the new (comedy) dram is going to come on, which theme is after childbirth crisis, and two popular actor and actress played main characters. So it will become trendy.

When we who are in their 's or more, heard the word, we didn't understand it. And  we thought why these young people are so impatient. But it seems to be a serious problem.
Its difficult to explain the word, but let me try to do it.

We call the word "SANGO KURAISHIS" in Japanese. KURAISHISI means crisis. So I thought this word came from the U.S.A. but it seems to be wrong. It seems to have been born in Japan.

These days many "new" mothers seem to have problems, mainly mentally. Shortly after giving birth, they are going to have less affection to their husbands. They think their husband don&t meet their expectation child-rearing. But it doesn't mean that their husband don't do anything. They try to do something, but unfortunately they tend to miss the point. It sometimes makes bigger the gap between the mother and her husband. And it leads to the after childbirth crisis, and finally which might result in a divorce.
I think, what mothers want their husbands to do is different from what their husbands want to do for their baby. So mothers are irritated and their husbands are discouraged and eventually don't do anything.
So I told M's husband, I know you are willing to take care of your baby, but you should help your wife, not to take care of your baby directly. It is called "big turnip method". Do you understand the word or do you know the story of the big turnip. To pull down the big turnip, first grandfather pull the turnip, and grand mother pull the grandfather. They never pull the turnip together.


Anonymous said...

But the question needs to be asked...does "leaving" solve the problem?
There is a medical condition called postpardium depression that comes from a chemical imbalance of hormones in the new mother. Today's doctors can recognize and treat it., but not so long ago it caused many serious mental problems to the point of harming not only herself but the baby and even other children in the family.
Hormones are both a blessing and a curse for women and keeping them in balance is a lifelong for mental and physical health is a lifelong struggle for many of us.

Mieko said...

Thanks for your comment, Jan.
M came back first, when Akari became about two and half months old. At that time M got too thin , I didn"t say that to anyone. Anyway she needed to " be feeded" she was into breast -feeding too much. So leveging her house and staying with us mades her rethink about her style. And this time, just she and Akari came here to avoid the bad cold of her husband. And I had also caught a bad cold, so she came back her home. Now all of her family are fine.