Yesterday, we went to a café called Ruark Coffee and tried its coffee. The owner is one year older than Yuki. Yuki was reminded of his business trips to Indonesia, and the two of them had a lively conversation about those days.
What surprised me was that the coffee served here is produced by a Japanese person who has established a coffee farm in Vietnam. Apparently, he actually raises civets there specifically to produce kopi luwak beans.
Yesterday, I joined an online English conversation meeting. The first question was, “What would you say is the most useful appliance in your household?”
I answered:
“Probably the refrigerator. Or maybe the kerosene heaters we use in winter, although I’m not sure if they are considered household appliances. We still use a kerosene heater in each room during the winter instead of air conditioners.
We could probably manage without a refrigerator if we went shopping at nearby stores, including convenience stores. But when it comes to keeping warm in winter, we have no choice but to use the heaters.”
Later, though, I thought I should have said our small blender, which we use to make smoothies.
At first, I thought of the refrigerator or the kerosene heaters we use in winter. But those are more like necessities than just useful appliances.
Every summer, this little blender really helps us get through the hot weather. Our favorite smoothie is made with cabbage and pineapple. Even when we don’t have much of an appetite, we can easily get some fluids and vegetables from a smoothie.
So, I’d say our small blender is probably the most useful appliance in our household.
I’m not sure whether Yuki is in a bad mood today, feeling sleepy, or just not feeling well.
Lately, he says he feels that the numbness is getting worse. Personally, I wonder if it might be because the rest of him is feeling better, so the numbness stands out more and feels more severe to him.
But today, he doesn’t seem to think he can really play the guitar. To me, it looked like he was still playing pretty well. But at the jazz café, someone said to him, “Yuki, have you changed the way you play?” That seemed to come as quite a shock to him.
He can somehow still manage to play the bass, though.
Whenever Yuki looks even a little tired, I feel worried. He’s going to have a massage this afternoon, so I hope it will make him feel better and that he’ll be able to go to the gym this evening.
I think the comment about his guitar playing has really gotten to him.
Yuki has updated his music, and he has now posted 1,001 songs.
He is doing fine. We have no plans today, so we’re going to a farm shop that is a little far from here.
These days, leafy vegetables are getting more expensive because of the weather.
On the way home, we’ll stop by my usual used bookstore. The books I left there last time have been appraised, so I’m going to pick up the money.
I think we’ll get just enough to cover a cup of coffee for the two of us. Starbucks is probably out of the question, though.
Yesterday we went to the hospital. Unfortunately, his cancer has progressed.
The three of us, including the doctor, went over, once again, the things we had already discussed previously.
A visiting nurse comes to our home every other week. The doctor apparently receives reports about how things are going during these visits.
Depending on how things develop, a home-visiting doctor can be arranged. His oncologist will give the necessary instructions.
In the end, when the time comes, Yuki will be admitted to a palliative care unit rather than staying at home.
We went over all of this rather matter-of-factly.
Yuki himself is still doing really well, though. His doctor seems to expect that at some point, his condition may suddenly take a turn for the worse.
The doctor said, “For now, let’s schedule a CT scan at the end of October and a follow-up appointment in early November. But if anything happens before then, please come by ambulance.”
As for Yuki, I honestly don’t know what he is really thinking.
He still has numbness in his leg, but otherwise he is doing very well. I don’t know whether his attitude of “I won’t know until the time comes” means he is simply taking things lightly, trying not to think about it, or has somehow come to terms with it. Perhaps even he doesn’t know.
I know there is no point in worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. Still, I think he has a point when he says, “There’s no use thinking about things you can’t do anything about.”
He is going to the jazz café again today to play his instruments. It takes about 35 minutes by car.
And as for me…
I know there is no point in worrying about what I can’t change, but I keep wondering how I am supposed to get through each day from now on.
To be honest, I’m scared.
This afternoon, I’m meeting a friend who is doing some alterations to my clothes. I haven’t told her about Yuki’s illness, though.
Anyway, it means I won’t be alone for a while, and I think that’s probably a good thing.
Today, we got the results of Yuki’s genomic testing.
We had heard that there was only about a 10% chance that they would find something that could lead to another treatment. And, amazingly, Yuki turned out to be one of that 10%. They found one anticancer drug that could potentially be used.
However, the side effects are expected to be quite strong, and we decided not to take it because we don’t want to lower Yuki’s quality of life any further.
To tell the truth, we had expected that they wouldn’t find anything. And we had already talked about the possibility that, even if they found another drug, we probably wouldn’t choose any more aggressive treatment.
After discussing it with his doctors, we decided together not to have the treatment. I think we should give ourselves credit for making this decision together. But somehow, now that it’s all settled, I feel like all the tension has suddenly left me, and I’m completely drained.
Anyway, on a completely different note, Yuki has reached an amazing milestone with his YouTube music.
He has now posted 1,000 songs!
His appointment at the hospital was in the afternoon today, so before that, we went out for steak to celebrate reaching 1,000 songs.
This bottle contains non-alcoholic shochu.
Non-alcoholic beer and wine are becoming more popular, but there are very few non-alcoholic versions of sake or shochu. This time, we found this non-alcoholic shochu online. So far, only one sake company makes this kind of product.
Yuki has started having a non-alcohol day every other day.
I think that’s a good thing. I hope his blood test results stay stable for as long as possible.
But here’s the funny thing: this non-alcoholic shochu is actually more expensive than the regular shochu he usually drinks!
