Why do you work?

Why do you work? The most simple answer is to earn money.
Of course it's necessary.

And I know, for women being independent economically is the first step to be an independent woman.
I'm really surprised to hear that in a country recently it is allowed for women to open an account at a bank.

Though it's difficult to explain about the situation in Japan. We don't used to hiring a baby sitter. In my country being a house wife doesn't mean that the woman is uneducated.The reason mothers stay home is not only to nurse kids but also to educate kids. 

Of course some mothers have to continue to work to earn money, and some mothers continue to work if their circumstances make it possible and they want to choose to keep working. Why? They may answer like this; to keep independence, to keep what they are. They tend to think about themselves.

But the other day I hear another answer. She said "I want to make a better future you will live". She seems to be very proud of her job.

If you can meet such a job, you would be very happy.

Well, well, now I work a little? Why? not to earn money, though I want my pocket money.
Why? I want myself to feel being a member of society.
For me, it's difficult to work others.

Three "hei"

I read an interesting report. I don't know you will be able to understand my English sentences, or this Japanese thinking. But anyway for me it's really interesting.

The writer is as old as me, though it's he. And he was born in TOKYO (this means he was born in a big city.) and now he works at UTSUNOMIYA (this means he works at a local city.)


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When we were college students( it means about 30 years ago) , we would enjoy our daily lives without worrying about our future especially our jobs. (Of course we know that now it's a hard time to seek jobs even though they graduate from college.) But anyway for those four years students were independent of parents ( though it might had been mentally.)  and parents also independent of their children. At that time the youth would seek three "KOU"s (it means "high") -- high academic background, high income, and tall height ( it means cool looking). And the youth are now parents. they don't want to let their children go adventure, clever parents analyse cost performance even though they can afford to educate their children. And they say  to their children that " three "hei"s  are enough for our lives."  Three "hei"s are calm life, average income, average looking.
So, keeping the pipe with  depending on parents and children each other  mentally and economically, a big city is closed in it self, and a local city is also closed in itself, And unfortunately since they don't have enough money and human resource in local cities,  they tend to become diminished. So the difference between a big city and a local city is getting bigger.
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I often feel there is a big barrier between Tokyo and Utsunomiya.
I like this calm Utsunomiya's life. On the other hand I like the active Tokyo's life.
I understand what he says.
On the other hand, an interesting occurs.

This writer was born in TOKYO, and now he lives in UTSUNOMIYA. And he may choose UTSUNOMIYA as the place he will live after he will retire. Actually we will do. The interesting thing is that the senior generation will be complterly different from the generation about 30 years ago. In Utsunomiya's case, it is a middle sized city , so many branches of big companies is coming for these 30 years, it means many people moved to here from a big city including us. Our generation doesn't like to see UTSUNOMIYA getting dimminished. Now we are facing a problem of aged-city. UTSUNOMIYA is a middle-sized city, so it might be easy for this city to be attractive city for aged-people. And if it's an interesting city for aged people, it must be influenced to young people.

parenting

The other day I talked about parenting with a Filipino lady who is in her 30's and single.
I have two daughters, and fortunately they are already independent. My younger daughter got married this spring, and she and her husband lives in TOKYO. My elder daughter is still single, she pursues her life in an art world. Next week she is going to hold her personal exhibition in TOKYO.
And Yuki and I live in Utsunomiya where is 100 km far from TOKYO. These days we seldom our daughters.
So the special thing about my elder daughter is her strong motivation to make works.
And the special thing about my younger daughter is the attitude not to attach to anything. It means she doesn't pursue her career, but she likes doing work, so she doesn't choose a type of a job. 

The Filipino lady asked some questions to me.
1, Did you help your children with their homework?
Yes, especially I used to help them with their special summer homework. But I didn't help them with daily school homework.
But to tell the truth, probably they didn't ask me to help them. I was interested in doing summer "science" homework.

2. What were some things that you would not allow your children to do?
I think we don't have strict rules. But I like being punctual, and I don't like to tell a lie.

3.What are some things that you would allow your children to do that you think other parents may not allow their children to do?
I didn't compare ourselves with other parents. --- Probably nothing special.

4. Do you think that you are a good parent? Why?
I believe we are good parents. Because I think we've kept good relation ship.
Anyway I did as much as I could.

5. What do you think are some of the most difficult problems faced by parents now a days?
Well, it seems to be difficult apart from financial problems.
Probably all parents are afraid of their children being truant, being bullied and becoming a bully.
These days the contents of bullying is different from old-style bullying.

6. Should a good mother give up her job to stay at home with her children?
I think not to "give up" her job, but if you "choose " to stay at home as a mother, it's not bad. Actually I chose staying at home as a mother so I quit my job.

7. Should women always get custody (keep the children) after a divorce?
At first I didn't understand this meaning. In Philippines, when women dicvorce and her children were under the age of 7, they get automatically custody. In Japan, if children are under the age of 10, mothers tend to get custody, but we don't have a rule.

A talkshow by a woman

I participate to a talk show by a woman, she talked about her life for 2 hours.
It was interesting. She is around 65 years, nevertheless she wore heels. Though she came from TOKYO by bullet train, I don't know she was wearing heels in the train. She might have changed her shoes for her talk show.

Who is the woman? She is a mother of a famous Japanese singer. But she didn't talk about the singer, didn't talk about the way to bring him up. She just talked how she managed to overcome some difficult situations. And she suggest you should praise yourself a lot.
I've heard such a story.

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Close your eyes, and imagine to put a wonderful (wine) glass in front of you. Try to fill the glass with compliments for yourself.
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I think Japanese people or I am not good at praising myself. I sometimes hear this phrase, but I forget soon. So it was a good time to consider myself.

To tell the truth for me it was more interesting to listen to additional talk.
She said to women who are busy in doing mother's job. "Please enjoy the time with your kids, it's not so long than you think."
And she said to women who graduated from mother's job, "Please live for yourself".

Though I don't know her real life, but she seems to live "alone". Though she is popular as a singer's mother, she doesn't seem to keep contact with him so often.  So in good meaning and in bad meaning, the phrase "living for yourself" was very convincing.

She also said that when we try to depart for another place, some people leaves move away, but you meet new people.
Those who come are welcome, those who leave are not regretted.
I know this phrase, but it's sometimes difficult to do it. I tend to chase people who leave me.

Additionally I grinned to myself when she said ----
"If you get stuck at home, anyway you go out with one bill (it means 1000 yen). And for a while you keep walking. Probably you feel tired after you walk for one-meter (it means a minimum fee of taxi). So you get a taxi, go home, take a shower, have some drink and go to bed to ignore your family."
Probably it is her one of experiences. BUT--- here in Utsunomiya, we can't get a taxi on the street.

November has come

It's November. New year is two months away.
Last month I enjoyed Halloween months. On Halloween my high school students and I enjoyed doing trick or treat. We "gave" lots of sweet to customers in the restaurants nearby.
It means  that. We visited two restaurants nearby in masquerade. And we asked the customers to shout trick or treat. And we presented sweet to them. It was fun.

Now I've changed the decoration of the entrance shelf.

 

Can you see a stuffed bird? It's a turkey. Here in Japan it's not popular.

If I have a chance I'd like to "see" a whole roasted turkey. (And it's OK to have a little)