This is a card game which recently I found and bought. This is produced by disabled people.
I'm in the generation of "SHOWYA". SHOWYA is a period from 1926 to 1989. Additionally, I have to accept the truth my mother and I are in the same generation. But the youth is in the generation of "HEISEI". Now it is in HEISEI 26th, or you can say it's in 2014 now.
What I want to say is that to discipline meant to scold in SHOWA period. Now everybody say to bring up kids while praising them. However in our case Yuki and I are not used to praising someone. So we need to learn how and when we praise someone a little. Yuki needs to encourage and praise his subordinates. I need to encourage and praise my students, young mothers and " my mother".
We started to praise each other every morning to get used to praise someone using these cards in turn.
Until this week, we used these cards.
1. What are the advantages of scolding? Make a one minute speech.
2. The person on your right says one negative or bad word, and you try to change the word into two positive or good words.
3. Praise the person on your left for one minute.
4. Praise the person on your right about his or her character for two things.
5. Praise the person on your left about his or her appearance for one minute.
6. Praise yourself for one minute.
How do you do these things?
4 comments:
Tradition is a difficult thing to change! One thing I noticed when in Japan is that no one in your generation smiles when their photo is taken (a tradition of my grandmother's generation), for example. Regarding your effort to "praise"...the most important thing is that it must be sincere! Phony praise is worse than none at all. But, I learned a long time ago that it costs absolutely nothing to compliment (I like that word better than praise) someone...and often it is the important part of their day. For the workplace, I think RECOGNITION is a better word than praise or compliment. Everyone wants to be at least recognized for their efforts. If I like how someone is dressed, the colors they are wearing that compliment them...I will make a quick, passing comment such as "My, don't you look lovely today!" or, "that blue blouse really looks good on you." And the result, 100% of the time the person lights up with a smile and has a lightness to their step afterwards. For a waitress..."thank you for such good service" is appreciated...or "tell the cook the soup was excellent." Sometimes we go through our days thinking no one notices or appreciates our work, our efforts and just a word of recognition makes a difference. Jan
On the other hand, "praise" can be carried too far! There has been a period here in the US that "self esteem" was the big word here with children. Like many things, it went too far. People thought there shouldn't be any "losers" so competition was eliminated and everyone got a trophy just for participating so they would "feel better about themselves." The problem is...life is not like that. There IS competition...in work, for example. Children who were told for years they were wonderful just because they showed up soon discovered they were ill-prepared for college or the work place. It was a devastating blow to them and many couldn't handle the competition and dropped out...of school, of the workforce. The point is, too much praise creates a false sense of self-worth. The challenge is to find a happy middle. Jan
Thanks Jan for your comments. It was fun and interesting. I have a question, what difference is there between "praise" and " compliment". Both words are just HOMERU in Japanese. And Flatter meanes OSEIJI WO IU in japanese, it's like phony prasie.
When we compliment someone, we foucus doing, having, and being.
Probably complimenting someone about doing is kind of recognizing.
To answer you question, in my view "praise" is usually associated with some sort of action or behavior. Example: Mieko was praised after her piano concert for her excellent timing." Or, "After winning the tennis match, Yuki was praise for his outstanding performance."
To compliment is probably less strong and often is associated with appearance. Example, "Susie's new dress got many compliments from her friends." Or, "What nice-looking children you have!"
Can you see the difference? Jan
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