Good morning 0726 “troubleshooter 0723”

 I tried translating another article continuing from yesterday. There are many problems about nursing. This article tells us a problme of them.

Troubleshooter 

"My family is fully stretched nursing our father on our own. We have reached our limit."

I’m in my late 50s and a housewife. My husband and I live with my parents. My mother who is in her 80s and I nurse my father who is also in his 80s. My mother has insisted on nursing her husband no matter what. I’m the eldest daughter, my younger sister lives far.

My father has dementia, and his weight is more than 70kg. So it is hard for him to move his body by himself. He often falls down recently. 

The other day he fell down when my husband and I were out. It was a little bit far from home. My mother called me for help. I told my mother to ask help from our neighbors. But she refused because she didn’t want her husband to be seen by others. So, my husband and I went back home, it took 2 hours.

The situation is getting worse.  Though he uses diapers, these days sometimes they don’t work well, sometimes his bed gets dirty with feces. I proposed her to use official elderly nursing service, let him go to an elderly day care center and take a bath there at least once a week. However, she said “if you act like we are getting in your way, I would rather die with my husband”

I don’t work, but I’m not able to stay home all the time. What should I do?

Advicer 

At first please show my answer to your mother.

I don’t know your mother’s name, so let me call her Ms.A.

Ms. A, please let your husband go to an elderly day care center twice or three times a week. And please accept helpers or caregivers in your house. It is not humiliating in present time to get help from others especially professional caregivers. We are entitled to receive official services using our nursing insurance. It makes your husband comfortable and less burden for you and your daughter. 

Probably you sometimes see or hear the news about murders due to caregiver fatigue. Most of them, they occurred in the families who didn’t get professional caregiver services and administrative services.

Your daughter is in her late 50s, not so young. You and her is getting older. Nursing your husband with your family is close to limit considering your physical power and mental power.

Please don’t depend only your daughter who is not that young anymore. Please accept others, such as professional helpers and caregivers. Please use elderly nursing centers. If you continue this life, your family might be destroyed.

Today we are going t go to some homecenters to get some materials for our duagter's new work.