Good morning 1023

We heard some serious news on TV yesterday  about a security problem with PHP.

According to the news;

PHP is a programming language widely used to run websites and online services. Two critical security vulnerabilities were found, and hackers might be able to exploit them to run malicious code on servers without permission.

I didn’t think it directly affected my life, but I was very surprised that I couldn't access some of my favorite blogs.

Nowadays, there is growing concern about personal data privacy. On the news, we hear almost every day about companies apologizing for data breaches.

So, what should we do to protect our personal information?

I feel scared to use not only the internet but also credit cards and smartphones.

Fortunately, cash is still widely used here in Japan, so I suppose I could get by without using credit cards, online banking, and so on.

But when it comes to a PHP security issue like this, there is usually nothing ordinary users like us can do because PHP runs behind the scenes.

But can I really give up blogging and online shopping just to protect my personal information? We’ve just bought a new electric kettle online.

English conversation online meeting 1021

 The topics are..."Skills”

◆What is a new skill that you would like to learn?

Though this may not be a very positive answer, I'd like to learn basic skills to keep up with new technology, such as smartphones, apps, and AI.

However, I'm not even sure what the basic skills are.

I don't need to learn anything too complicated, and I don't think I have the energy to study anything too difficult at my age.

Still, these days, people seem to rely on smartphones for almost everything. So, I'm wondering what I really need to know to manage my daily life. It's actually a pressing issue for me right now.

◆Do you think it is better to have many skills or to just be very good at a few?

It depends on your occupation and age.

It takes time to learn a skill and make it your own. Of course, it's important to improve your skills, but it's also important not to forget the skills you've worked hard to acquire.

I think both having a wide range of skills and being really good at a few skills are valuable. However, I feel that knowing how to use your skills effectively and how to maintain them is even more difficult and important.

◆What do you expect will be the most important skills for people to have in the future?

It's a difficult question. Probably, some technical skills to keep up with new technology will be important and necessary.

On the other hand, I think it's also very important not to forget how to communicate with people without relying on technology. I'm not sure if this is a skill or an ability, but I think it's something we really need.

Technology will keep changing, and we will meet many different kinds of people. So, I think it's important to be flexible and learn how to deal with new situations and different opinions.

◆Are there any skills that people are born with that can’t be taught or learned in life?

I think the ability to communicate with people is very important.

From the moment we are born, we start interacting with others. We can't grow or live on our own. Sometimes, misunderstandings in communication can lead to fighting, or even war. That's why I think it's important to keep improving our ability to communicate with others throughout our lives.

◆Is it possible for a person to ever be too skillful?

Yes, I think so. Some people may be too skillful in certain areas, and that can make them seem strange to others. They may be considered "henjin" in Japanese. Unfortunately, I think they often seem isolated from others, although they may not care about it at all.

◆What kinds of skills do wild animals have?

Wild animals have survival skills from an early age. They have the skills to build their homes or nests to raise their young, and to gather or hunt for food. Some animals also have the ability to use tools.

What do you think of them?

Good morning 1019

 A new week has started. It looks like it will be sunny through today, but it might rain tomorrow. Actually, I prefer sunny days, but if it rains, at least my pollen allergy should get better.

Our schedule for this morning is to go to the clinic and then stop by a golf shop to look for a left-hand glove.

Yuki says he tends to use his numb left hand without thinking, which causes him some stress. So he wants to wear a glove on his left hand even at home. He has several golf gloves, but they are tight, as they are supposed to be for playing golf. This time, though, he needs a loose-fitting glove for a different purpose.

Some people suggested alternating between soaking his hand in hot water and cold water, and he has been doing that when he takes a bath. But the doctor said, “If the numbness is caused by peripheral neuropathy, it might help. In his case, though, it probably won't be very effective. Still, it's worth trying.”

In the evening, we're planning to go to our own gyms. Yuki will definitely go because he enjoys it. As for me, I'll probably go, too.

Good mornong 1018

 We went to the orthopedic department at the hospital where Yuki receives his cancer treatment.

The doctor thinks that his symptoms are not caused by peripheral nerve problems. They may be lingering side effects of chemotherapy, or it is also possible that a tumor in his neck is causing the problem.

The doctor took the time to listen to us carefully and explain things, so although nothing has changed, we feel a little relieved. We asked the hospital to bring forward Yuki’s appointment with his oncologist. His CT and MRI scans are scheduled in two weeks so we hope they can be done sooner. We’ll see what happens.

We have added some more massage gadgets to Yuki’s collection.

As for me, I am suffering allergic caused by autumn pollen. I’m taking medicine, but my nose keeps running. Stronger medicine gives me a headache, so I have to manage with what I’m taking now.

Today, there is an outdoor jazz concert featuring some of Yuki’s friends, but I’ve decided to skip it.

I’m also skipping airing our futons outside in the sun. (That’s a Japanese custom, by the way!)

Good morning 1017

 I'm going to the hospital with Yuki now. The fingers on his left hand started twitching. This has never happened before. His numbness seems to be getting worse, to the point where it's almost like paralysis.

I'm feeling a little shaken. I wonder if we have to accept that this is happening.

We stopped chemotherapy because we wanted to prevent things from getting to this point. I can't help wondering if we made that decision too late.

As recently as last month, he was still able to play the bass.

Good morning 1016

 Yesterday, we went to a Buddhist temple to buy a special amulet. Neither of us is particularly religious. We are not Shintoists or Buddhists, but we have decided to follow Buddhist customs for our funeral and burial arrangements.

By the way, Shinto shrines are where people worship in the Shinto tradition, while Buddhist temples are where Buddhists worship.

In Shingon Buddhism, there is something called a “final amulet.” It is believed to help a person pass away peacefully and smoothly at the very moment they leave this world and return to the other side. In other words, it is meant to bring peace of mind at the moment of death.

So, that is why we went to buy one. I’m not sure whether this is considered good luck or bad luck, but anyway, we just want to enjoy peaceful and happy days together for as long as we can.

It is only now, at this stage of our lives, that we find ourselves turning to Buddhist traditions. I guess, after all, we are Japanese.

Good morning 1015

 Yesterday was the day of the home visit from the nurse. I had been wondering what she would do during the visit.

She checked Yuki’s blood pressure and oxygen saturation, then listened to his chest with a stethoscope. She told us she could hear some rattling sounds in his lungs. Apparently, there is nothing that can be done about it.

Yuki looks fine on the outside, but I was reminded that his body is changing after all. It’s hard to face the reality.

Still, I’m grateful that the nurse visits us twice a month. It’s also reassuring to know that we can contact a nurse 24 hours a day if we need help.

By the way, the cost of home nursing care is partly covered by Japan’s public long-term care insurance system, which is a great help to us.

Good morning 1014

 Today, our first visiting nurse is coming to see Yuki. He is doing well, but he now needs to have his condition checked by a nurse twice a month. This is to help ensure a smooth transition to palliative care when the time comes.

Unfortunately, the side effects of chemotherapy still haven't gone away, and recently, the numbness in his fingers has gotten worse. It has become more difficult to press down on the strings of his bass with his left hand. He is feeling quite down about it — well, actually, very disappointed.

Even so, he says he will stop by the jazz café just to have a cup of coffee.

The doctors have told us that the numbness isn't directly related to the cancer, so I think it may be part of the process of recovering from the side effects of chemotherapy. But sadly, we can't afford to wait too long for the numbness to go away.

For now, he can still use the exercise bike, so he is trying to maintain his physical strength. Yuki is planning to go to the small gym this evening.

Good morning 1013

 The three-day weekend ended yesterday, so today is the start of a new week. I’m going with Yuki to two clinics this morning. In the afternoon, we have separate plans. Yuki is going to a jazz café, while I’m going to play the piano at Café Karaku.

It’s already October, but it’s still so hot during the day! At this time of year, I would normally wear an orange sweater in Halloween colors or a thicker long-sleeved shirt when I go out. But it’s too hot! The cafés might be cool because of the air conditioning, or even a little chilly, though...

Well, I came up with all sorts of excuses, and then I clicked the button. Yes, I bought a shirt online. I love how quickly it arrives!

However, if I’m going to buy new clothes, I have to get rid of some of the clothes I already own. After staring at my closet for a long time, I managed to let go of five shirts!

Why is it so hard to get rid of clothes? There are some clothes I hardly ever wear, but I still can’t let them go.

Is it just women who feel this way?

Yuki, on the other hand, gets rid of things in a flash and buys new ones just as quickly. I’m not sure that’s a good thing, either!

Neither of us has any particularly expensive clothes that need to be sent to the dry cleaners, though.

Good mornong 1012

 I’ve cut back my lemongrass and am letting it dry.

Am I going to make tea with it? No, no! I’ll just let it dry indoors for a while, enjoy its fragrance, and then probably throw it away.

In the past, it never survived the winter in my garden because it was too cold here. But in recent years, it has managed to survive the winter. I wonder if it will make it through this winter, too.

While I was cutting it back, one of my neighbors happened to walk by and asked, “What’s that?”

I said, “Doesn’t it smell nice?” She seemed satisfied with that answer. Then I explained, “You can dry it indoors for a while and enjoy the fragrance.” She liked the idea and took some home with her.

The photo shows what was left. It’s just the right amount for me!

Good morning 1010

 Yesterday, a friend stopped by briefly to bring us some freshly harvested rice. I was happy to receive the new rice, of course, but I was even happier that she had come to see us.

After telling her how happy I was and saying, “You finally came to visit!” I ended up snapping at her, saying, “Why don’t you come more often?”

She is 73 and still working, so she is very busy. She lives with her three unmarried daughters. Her husband passed away from lung cancer five years ago. Has it really been five years already?

I’m 66, and I know it’s a bit unreasonable of me to rely on her so much.

I felt guilty about taking my frustration out on her. But even though she stayed for only about 15 minutes, I was truly happy that she had come.

by Yuki

Good morning 1009

 Yesterday, we went to a café called Ruark Coffee and tried its coffee. The owner is one year older than Yuki. Yuki was reminded of his business trips to Indonesia, and the two of them had a lively conversation about those days.

What surprised me was that the coffee served here is produced by a Japanese person who has established a coffee farm in Vietnam. Apparently, he actually raises civets there specifically to produce kopi luwak beans.

Good morning 1008

 Yesterday, I joined an online English conversation meeting. The first question was, “What would you say is the most useful appliance in your household?”

I answered:

“Probably the refrigerator. Or maybe the kerosene heaters we use in winter, although I’m not sure if they are considered household appliances. We still use a kerosene heater in each room during the winter instead of air conditioners.

We could probably manage without a refrigerator if we went shopping at nearby stores, including convenience stores. But when it comes to keeping warm in winter, we have no choice but to use the heaters.”

Later, though, I thought I should have said our small blender, which we use to make smoothies.

At first, I thought of the refrigerator or the kerosene heaters we use in winter. But those are more like necessities than just useful appliances.

Every summer, this little blender really helps us get through the hot weather. Our favorite smoothie is made with cabbage and pineapple. Even when we don’t have much of an appetite, we can easily get some fluids and vegetables from a smoothie.

So, I’d say our small blender is probably the most useful appliance in our household.

Good mornong 1007

 I’m not sure whether Yuki is in a bad mood today, feeling sleepy, or just not feeling well.

Lately, he says he feels that the numbness is getting worse. Personally, I wonder if it might be because the rest of him is feeling better, so the numbness stands out more and feels more severe to him.

But today, he doesn’t seem to think he can really play the guitar. To me, it looked like he was still playing pretty well. But at the jazz café, someone said to him, “Yuki, have you changed the way you play?” That seemed to come as quite a shock to him.

He can somehow still manage to play the bass, though.

Whenever Yuki looks even a little tired, I feel worried. He’s going to have a massage this afternoon, so I hope it will make him feel better and that he’ll be able to go to the gym this evening.

I think the comment about his guitar playing has really gotten to him.

Good morning 0106

 Yuki has updated his music, and he has now posted 1,001 songs.

He is doing fine. We have no plans today, so we’re going to a farm shop that is a little far from here.

These days, leafy vegetables are getting more expensive because of the weather.

On the way home, we’ll stop by my usual used bookstore. The books I left there last time have been appraised, so I’m going to pick up the money.

I think we’ll get just enough to cover a cup of coffee for the two of us. Starbucks is probably out of the question, though.

Good morning 1003

 Yesterday we went to the hospital. Unfortunately, his cancer has progressed.

The three of us, including the doctor, went over, once again, the things we had already discussed previously.

1. A visiting nurse comes to our home every other week. The doctor apparently receives reports about how things are going during these visits.

2. Depending on how things develop, a home-visiting doctor can be arranged. His oncologist will give the necessary instructions.

3. In the end, when the time comes, Yuki will be admitted to a palliative care unit rather than staying at home.

We went over all of this rather matter-of-factly.

Yuki himself is still doing really well, though. His doctor seems to expect that at some point, his condition may suddenly take a turn for the worse.

The doctor said, “For now, let’s schedule a CT scan at the end of October and a follow-up appointment in early November. But if anything happens before then, please come by ambulance.”

As for Yuki, I honestly don’t know what he is really thinking.

He still has numbness in his leg, but otherwise he is doing very well. I don’t know whether his attitude of “I won’t know until the time comes” means he is simply taking things lightly, trying not to think about it, or has somehow come to terms with it. Perhaps even he doesn’t know.

I know there is no point in worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. Still, I think he has a point when he says, “There’s no use thinking about things you can’t do anything about.”

He is going to the jazz café again today to play his instruments. It takes about 35 minutes by car.

And as for me…

I know there is no point in worrying about what I can’t change, but I keep wondering how I am supposed to get through each day from now on.

To be honest, I’m scared.

This afternoon, I’m meeting a friend who is doing some alterations to my clothes. I haven’t told her about Yuki’s illness, though.

Anyway, it means I won’t be alone for a while, and I think that’s probably a good thing.