trouble shooter 1008

 2023/10/08 

"I am asked advise from people around me, It sometimes makes me difficult to keep being myself."

I’m in my teens.  I work on tiny things easily, and I used to like giving my friends advice.

When someone tells me about her or his troubles, the talking gets more serious. It means the seeker opens the mind easily and sometimes talks about their complicated situation, like family matters.

When I’m interested in the seeker or the story, I want to seek its core story. So, I go deeply into the heart of the story. If listening to the story is useful for the seeker, it is a good thing. On the other hand, I seem to be narrow-minded, not to have enough capacity for accepting the whole of the seeker. It is difficult to keep to myself these days. I’d like to ask for professional advice on how to listen to other people’s troubles without being involved myself.

Adviser (philosopher)

You must consider that you can understand their troubles sincerely so you are often asked for advice. Actually, such a person like you, tries to enter their heart deeply to seek the reason why they are worried.

The difficult thing is, sometimes the adviser is involved with the seeker, feels the same trouble, and loses himself.

To avoid this situation, you must be Socrates.

He is a philosopher in ancient Greek. While he listened to people’s stories or troubles, he never got an answer for them. He just helped seekers to find their answer by themselves. When we give suitable advice, we need to put ourselves in their shoes. So, we tend to be involved by ourselves, and have the same trouble.

However, when we realize that we help them to find their answer by themselves, we face just the seeker, not the seeker’s troubles. Specifically, you try to ask questions as much as you can. Instead of saying “you should ---“ you ask “what do you want to do ? How do you behave?”

It sounds paradoxical. However, to save people around you, and to save yourself not to be involved, it is necessary for you to escape from the trouble itself.