troubleshooter 1210

The following advice column might sound nothing special for foreigners whose native language is English. However the column written in English made me very surprised. Because the counselor expresses her love or affection to her husband very frankly and honestly. Probably she might had experienced very hard days before she married. 

-------------------------------------------------

 I want to keep distance from my mother and elder sister

　

My relationship with my mother who is in her 80’s and my elder sister is painful.

I’m in my 50’s. I’ve been nursing my husband for 10 years.

My mother has always been doting on my elder sister only. When it’s convenient for her, she asks a favor or says nasty things about our relatives to me.

 My elder sister lives near my house. When the three of us are together, she always butters her up, when she and I are together, she always says nasty things about my mother. And she always speaks in an authoritative tone to me.

My father passed away in his 50’s from cancer. At that time my mother was busy with her work, so I was in charge of nursing him.

After my father passed away, I lost my place in the house, left home and married my husband. He is a savior, he came to my rescue from my mother’s house. He is really gentle, so I don’t care nursing him.

Now I want to keep distance from my mother and elder sister, but instead give priority to my husband and live with him peacefully.　However my father willed “get along with your sister”. I sometimes feel sorry for my mother. What should I do?

The answer of an advisor who is a writer, is

------------------------

Life is not always calm, we have a tailwind, a head wind, or sometimes storm.

However you are really happy though you are nursing your husband who you love as your savior, aren’t you? You focus on your life and live calmly and quietly. You have done enough because you nursed your father as much as you could 

It is said that children who weren’t given enough love from their mothers tend to not be free because of being hung up on their mothers. You can’t go against your mother or your elder sister. You might be hung up on them.

However parents usually want their children who left their nest to be happy, even though they feel lonely. You believe it. You only tell your mother frankly “Sorry, Mom. Now my priority is my husband. I am nursing him. “

If you bear pain and push yourself too hard, nothing good will happen. It’s a good excuse to say that your priority is your husband. So you should keep distance from people who give you pain. Whatever they say, you hold your freedom of mind, and control your happiness by yourself.