Trouble shooter 0320

It was an interesting article. So I  translated it. I open it makes sense. 

Trouble shooter 0320

I’m in my 60’s, and don’t work. I would like to get some advice about my wife who is also in her 60’s. Since we got married, about 40 years have passed.

Recently I retired. I have much more time to spend my wife together. She is highly emotional. When she loses her temper, she gets out of control. She is always bat-mouthing other people.

　

She says bad things about not only me, her parents, sisters and brothers, our children, her friends, managers of her former workplace, and also celebrities.

Usually, she talks in conjecture, I want to cover my ears. She always says to me “you are always looking down on me because I graduated from only high school. “

When I deny it saying “I don’t do that”, she won’t listen to a word I say.

I’m tired of her. I’m thinking if I will be able to spend the rest of my life with her. She has a lot of good things. But I want her to understand how I feel when she is saying bad things about other people.

Adviser (a philosopher)

Your trouble is that you can’t bear that your wife says bad things about other people. However, it is no use giving words of caution to her. You told me that once you did it, a big quarrel happened. From the start it is a problem to use the phrase “giving words of caution”. This phrase is used to subordinates.

You and your wife are on an equal footing, aren’t you?

　

Then there must be some reasons when people insult other people. Is she really angry to other people? A French philosopher Alan says in his book about couples. "People who are in a bad mood, there must be some reason."

If he or she has much room in their heart, they don’t insultsay other people. Philosopher Alan recommends to smile to them who are in a bad mood. What you should do is not to cover your ears with your hands, to try to make her laugh, and relax. If you continue doing it, naturally she says less bad things about other people