trouble shooter 0722

 Trouble shooter 0722

I can’t accept the complains of my mother.

I’m in my late 20s. I am a pharmacist. I can’t accept and forgive the complains of my mother who is in her 60s.

My father is selfish, so he decides every thing without talking with my mother such as changing his job or buying a house. When he did something without talking my mother, my mother always complained about him to me. My younger brother also had lots of troubles among his friends or at school. When he caused troubles, she always complained about him to me, too.

So, I have done my best not to worry her more. I passed entrance examination and license examination on the first try.

As soon as my younger brother got to job, he quitted. He stayed home. I tried to suggest him to take a break from work before quitting, but I was stopped by mother. She said “you are not involved in this matter, so don’t say anything”. My heart broke off.

Because of my father and his brother, my mother complained to me. So, I used to fix her mood, sending some presents to her. But now I am too tired to contact to my mother. Do I accept my mother with initiative actions by myself?

Adviser Ms. Mogami (writer)

The struggle of your mother seems never to end. Daughters tend to be a role to listen to the complains of their mother. But you’ve already fulfilled your duty. Now you are full of negative emotion to your mother. It is correct to make a distance from your mother and your family. But you seek an advice because you are anxious. It means you are controlled by your mother without your noticing.

Your mother said “don’t interfere in the family matters”. So, without hesitation you should guard your own time. If you have to contact to her, you write a letter. And it might be good to add one sentence “not depend on me, you should find your own way to release your stress

Sometime a day you should face to your family without your wills. Until that time, you should train both your body and mind to endure the stress. As of now you keep in touch with many kinds of people and gain experiences. I’ll be rooting for you.

-----------------

When I was in my 50s, I didn't like listening to the complain of my mother. So I try not to complain to my daughters, ( I think).

On the other hand I really envy the mothers who complain something to their daughters.

And I know, such a day to face to mother's compalin will come.

At that time what will happen to my daughters?