Good morning 0830

 

Typhoon is moving very slowly, it still stays in southern Japan keeping heavy power. However we often have sudden heavy rain even in this eastern Japan.

My friend  who lives in the next prefecture got cataract surgery the day before yesterday. She is 70 years old. She still works so she is busy. But for a while she stays home. So I called her. Once we started talking , it became a long talking. 

Here in Japan after a cataract surgery it is troublesome or difficult (for the elderly) to handle some kinds of eye drops. In my mother’s case after her surgery I stayed with her for three days, then I always called her at the time she had to apply her eye drop.  In my friend’s case she sets a timer. When the timer rang, our talking was finished.

I am also diagnosed with light cataract. Actually my eyes condition are not so good even though I apply eyedrops. Next week I will go to eye clinic again. 

Good morning 0829

 

Typhoon is still here in south Japan. In this area we don’t have big troubles yet, but the weather is unstable. This Sunday Yuki is going to join a big live at a park. But it is not sure to be held. Last year the next day he joined the same live, he hospitalized. 

It is cloudy now, but probably in the morning we don’t have heavy rain here. Yuki is going to play tennis. Yesterday he didn’t go there. I should go to the gym. 

I read a book written about negative  capability. The contents were interesting, but the writing style was difficult. So I often fall asleep while reading it. Anyway I read it until the end.

I want to make my negative capability strong. 

trouble shooter 0824

Typhoon is coming. It is raining, but not so strong. Monday trip to visit Yuki’s mother was the best plan. We were surprised that even in this area r bags of rice are almost sold out at most of the supermarkets. 

I hope my writing of this trouble shooter makes sense. 

 2024/08/24 05:00

I am in trouble. My mother who is in her early 80’s calls me. I’m in my 50’s and a parttime worker.

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My mother had an operation of her back and hospitalized for a while to rehab. She gets fine, but it got be difficult to live alone. So now she moved from her house to a elderly nursing home.

When she lived in her house, she often called me. Now, she called me everyday a few times. When I don’t answer her phone, she calls my home phone and sends some e-mails. What she talks is some help, her old day stories, or complaining. They are not urgent matters.

I try to answer her as much as possible. I know she is full of anxious because she lives in an unfamiliar elderly nursing home.

She can’t wait to call me after I finish to work, even though I tell her “I’m working now”. Now I became unstable to hear the phone. She says “it doesn’t matter to call you”. Am I selfish?

Adviser

Your mother must be fine and positive.

She rehabbed very hard. She must be so energetic that she calls or sends e-mails. And of course, she feels loneliness at a new elderly nursing home.

From my situation, what I can say is that “while your mother is alive, you are able to give back to your mother. Because recently my mother passed away. 

But the more important thing is you are in a good shape. If you are sick, that is backfired. You keep health mentally and physically.

So how about making a rule with your mother?

For example, when you wake up, both of you make sure that both of you are fine. After finish dinner, talk about what happened on the day. Twice a month you visit her. Making a schedule makes her stable and spend days regularly

Or you ask your mother’s friends or relatives to tell her “You should obey your mother”.

I hope to make atmosphere “. Be guided by your children when you are old” naturally

Anyway, your mother is always with you mentally. Please try to many different ways which you can do, to make both of you happy.

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When I was in my 50’s. The same thing happened to me. So we decided to make a phone call every Wednesday afternoon. We would talk more than 2 hours on the phone. And At least I visited her once a month.

I really understand the adviser saying “while our mother is just alive, we are able to give back to her”.

However, to tell the truth, at that time Wenday’s call was a little bit burden for me. Visiting her was also troublesome. 

Now I can say that at that time, I did everything as much as I could. If I haven’t done that I would regret now.

I believe I could do what I could do for my elder mother.

trouble shooter 0822

Yesterday we went to Tokyo to see Yuki’s mother. Since she moved to current nursing home, one year and three months have passed. Unfortunately her speaking ability is getting worse. The good thing that she has a good appetite. She is no 96 years old. 

Trouble shooter  2024/08/22 

Though I’m nursing my mother at home. I work as a caregiver

I work parttime as a caregiver. I’m in my 60’s. Last year I took back my mother from a nursing home. 

At that time, I thought I could nurse my mother at home, So I changed into a part time worker, use the elderly nursing system, help other people with my mother’s nursing. But the real life is hard than I expected. It’s completely different from my work. I can’t control my feeling about my mother. I often use bad words to her and think how long she will be alive

When I see people who are fine, I hope they will be alive as much as possible. Nut when I see ill mother, I can’t be kind to her. I often think I hope she would pass away early. I hate such me.

My elder sister is so ill that I can’t ask her help. Currently I think I will pass away earlier than my mother, of course I can’t leave my mother alone. I think that nowadays, no one shouldn’t live a long life, I feel I am becoming weirdo

Adviser (writer)

Even though you are a professional caregiver, it is usual you think such things and behave in such a way.

When I nursed my mother, her caregiver said “I can’t nurse my mother by myself, another caregiver nurses her, because I can’t control my feeling to my mother.” Though it might be difficult, is it possible that your mother will live in a nursing home again?

If you think her last life is not so long that you want to stay with her, please keep the place you can escape from your daily life. Please make your time that you forget your work, nursing your mother like massage room, or going to the live house and so on.

In my case, when I accept that it is the last time that my mother educates me, I feel calmer than before.

Nursing doesn’t continue permanently. Please take care yourself.

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I hope that this my writing makes sense. 

 After reading this trouble shooter, I thought my mother’s case. The first trouble between my brothers was whether she stayed at home or at a nursing home. My youngest brother and I suggested my younger brother to stay my mother at a nursing home. But he rejected strongly.

And now I’m worried what action I will take when my husband gets worse.

lunch diary 0824

 

There is only one week in August, thought it is still hot.

According to the weather forcast, another typhoon is coming this week.

Anway today we go to TOKYO to visit Yuki's mother and my parents and grandparents grave. This time we don't see anyone except the staff of the nursing homoe.

Good morning 0823

 

Good morning. It is cloudy and humid. Compared to the last week it is getting cooler. Yuki doesn’t use the air-condition when he sleeps at night. 

We enjoyed yesterday’s Costco. We bought something within our budget. 

Today the morning I hold laughter yoga meeting. Then after having lunch Yuki and I go downtown to get his new glasses. If we have time we will drop by the  library. In the evening we go to dentist nearby. 

Yesterday I got karuta cards set for the elderly. Karuta is traditional Japanese playing cards. The cards title is “frailty prevention. One good and laughing phrase is written in each card. Of course today I will use them.

Good morning 0822

 

Today it is our Costco day. In the morning I take  a cognitive behavioral at a clinic. While I am taking it, Yuki buys his necessary things at Costco. (Mainly, syoucyu alcohol, sports drink, and —- . I don’t know, his Costco list is constantly updated.) Then he picks me up . We go to  Costco again for our lunch. If the food coat is full, we have lunch in the car. If I need something more we also do shopping again. 

I’m not sure how effective my CBT therapy. Thankfully it is covered by our health insurance. Seven months have passed since I took it in January. I feel I got calmer though I struggle against anxiety. And the doctor is one of the few people to talk about our situation. But unfortunately she is a doctor. I feel there is a line between us. 

trouble shooter 0820

 2024/08/20 05:00

I have a guilty conscience, because I retired earlier even though I was still able to work.

I’m in my 50’s. I was a teacher of elementary school. Now I live in my husband. I retired this March. I lost my passion to work, I couldn’t focus on my work. So I felt guilty about my students and colleagues. So, I decided to retire earlier. I had trouble deciding about early retirement for a few years. My husband understood me. Now I want to spend my daily life calmly doing house errands and so on.

On the other hand, I have a guilty conscience. These days it is said we should work while we are health regardless of age. I know it might be good for our current life and retired life. But doing house errands is also a hard work, I think, even though housewives cannot earn money directly.

Probably I want to deny the formula “quitting job and becoming a house wife” equals “no work”.

Adviser 

I think you must have been a wonderful teacher. You did all your best with your strong responsibility.

Some people say that the formula you said is right. However, there are many different kinds of people. Such people think that doing house errands without fee is a really tough job. They are proud of being a housewife.

Now it is a good opportunity for you to take a rest. You should your decision to retire earlier positively. Housewives are also working people, even though they don’t earn money directly.

Only earing money is not work. Rasing kids, nursing your family, and doing house errands are tough jobs. And focusing on what you want to do is also very important to make your life meaningful.

From now, you have entered a new world. You must meet new people, new experience. Please relax and enjoy your new life.

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The other day one of my former colleagues was celeberated her 30 year works. It was a great thing. She is in her 70's. She is still work. Actaully I envied her a little. I have no regret to close my school. I am proud of being a housewife (probably.)

On the other hand the life with no salary is ---- sometimes makes me worried. I know probably we are able to manage to live, even though paying higher medical fee than we expected.

I know we don't know what will happen in a few minutes.

Good morning 0820

 

Good morning. The lightning last midnight  was terrible. Now it is sunny, and it seems to be hot. 

Yesterday we talked with our doctor who is a radiologist. And we asked her about Yuki’s treatment plan after current immunotherapy. We are going to go to the hospital for follow-up. (This time his tumor marker is higher than the last exam.) We asked about some preventive treatment which are not covered by our health insurance. She tried to hedge the question about them. We know her situation. However we were a little bit disappointed, though it can’t be helped. 

After seeing the doctor we went downtown to do some errands. It took longer than we expected. So I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. 

Today I should go to the gym. 

lunch diary 0818

 

Have you ever seen or experienced this vending machine ? Fresh oranges are stored in it. And they are automatically squeezed to make fresh orange juice. 

Today we go to see another doctor. After getting CT check we always talk with two doctors in the same hospital.  Then we should do some errands downtown. Yuki also goes to his skin clinic in the evening. Do I go to the gym in the evening?

Good morning 0817

 

Yesterday we went to the hospital. This time he also could take immunotherapy. When he goes to the hospital, he has to take blood test. He has to finish having meals two hours before the test. Yesterday,  it was a very early appointment. So after the blood test we had quick breakfast at the hospital.

In the evening we went to an eyeglass store to change Yuki’s glasses.

Well, this week we spent  lots of money. Of course the highest spending is this iPad.

Good morning 0815

 

It is sunny, it means it has already got hot. Typhoon is coming. Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow , it will be a bad weather. —-tomorrow it is the day to go to the hospital. 

Yesterday I talked with an owner of our familiar orchard of Japanese pears.  They are going to open next week. They are really afraid of typhoon. It might attack their fruits. 

As I always say, I am often full of small various anxiety, and can’t move.

So I should focus on what I can do now. 

Well, I tried to say cool, though it is true. I am thinking —- whether I should go to the gym in the morning or not. Probably I will do one round exercise. 

Good morning 0814

 

Good morning. Yesterday’s performance was all right. Though it was in Obon vacation we( my friend and I) had enough audience. To tell the truth, yesterday I suffered summer fatigue, so when I finished my performance, I went to bed. Yuki bought simple dinner box.

Today I will spend at home lazily, though the gym is open. I got lots of eggplants from our neighbor. So I am going to make eggplant comport with wine. 

Good morning 0813

 

I could post today’s breakfast. Why?

Finally I got a new iPad. This iPad is about 48000 yen. I didn’t buy the most expensive one. 

It was the first time to spend Obon  vacation at home with Yuki and me . I was busy to set up this iPad. 

Yuki enjoyed ? playing tennis under this severe sunshine.

Today it is my performance day at Karaku cafe.

Obon vacation has not finished, many (business) people are still in Obon vacation, though on calendar  it is a usual weekday today. 

lunch diary 0810

 

Now it is in OBON vacation. It is the first time for us to spend this vacation with two of us. No one comes, and we don't need to go to Tokyo.

We spend usual days. Yuki plays tennis. I spend days laizly, because the gym is closed.

Anyway hot days have continued, so I often give up to cook rice. Our main food is noodles.

Good morning 0809

It is Friday. It seems to get very hot. In the morning I will attend my Haiku meeting. I refined my haiku last night. It was u usual thing for me. I might be getting greedy to accept my haiku from others.

In the afternoon a mother and her kids will come to see my home library. They will borrow some English picture books. Now it is I summer vacation. I sometimes have inquiries about my home library. When someone comes I always present some English picture books. It is one way to discard my books.

So, today I am busy. It is a good reason to buy lunch or delicatessens outside. 

Good morning 0808

 Yesterday Yuki had a CT examination. It totally slipped our mind that now it is August.

We needed to renew Yuki’s high-cost medical expense benefit. Thanks of this system and our health insurance, we continue this immunotherapy. But it is not free. At least we pay about 50000yen every month for treatment of his malignant tumor.

In the afternoon we went to a city hall branch nearby to do the procedure.

Fortunately Yuki has his private cancer insurance, so the treatment cost is paired by the insurance partly. Luckily this immunotherapy was accepted as a standard treatment four years ago. This treatment will finish in November (?). After that how we face to this situation? We are thinking. We might take another treatment to lower the risk of  its recurrence.  In this case any insurance aren’t be applied. 

Next week we need to talk about it with the doctor.

Good morning 0807

Yesterday, we went see the lawyer. Probably lay it is the last time to talk about my mother’s inheritance issue. Though I abandoned my right to inherit it, I did not want to talk with my younger brother about it, so I asked the lawyer to meditate. Fortunately or unfortunately we needed to know a lawyer because of Yuki’s mother property issue, of course she is still fine. We thought Yuki’s mother inheritance issue would have happened before my mother’s one. But my mother’s issue happened first. So I could ask the lawyer about it. 

I think I could deal with this issue calmly thanks of the meditator. 

Today Yuki has a CT examination. He has to get it once every three months. Next week we will see the doctor. 

Since his malignant tumor was found, almost one year has passed. Anyway fortunately he keeps in good shape. He seems to coexist(?) with it.

trouble shooter 0804

 

Trouble shooter 0804

I want some support in my old age

 I’m in my 70s. I am a public health nurse. I live alone.

As of now I’m healthy both mentally and physically. I join some activity groups, do volunteer and work sometimes. However, I’m anxious because I don’t know when I get ill or injured. I don’t any friends in my neighborhood. I know about public nursing insurance, but the system is for people who really need some nursing care.

I want some people who support me when I get sick, or attend me to go to clinic, or services. I want some people or services to support my daily life in my old age.

Where and who do I talk about my anxious?

 

Adviser (writer)

You worked for others very long time. I appreciate your all effort. Now you are worried in case of your emergency.

Before apply public nursing insurance, there are many services to support your daily in old age. First you should go to a social welfare consolidation in your city. They may give you some information like some NPO groups, or welfare business companies which are not for free.

You write this letter by e-mail. It means you can use a cell phone, or a computer. So, you can get some information by yourself on the net.

You are involved in some groups. So, the members of group must catch your SOS signals. Don’ hesitate to rely on the others. It is about time that your surroundings support you.

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This article write my anxious precisely.

I don't know anyone who lives alone and don't have people like their kids or relatives , support them. I know some eldery people who live alone, but their kids or sibilings live nearby.

Of course even if their kis or sibilings live nearby, they might not get along with each other.

lunch diary 0803

 

Last week we celebrated our granddaughter's "coming of half age".

For all of us, it was the first time to celebrate such a thing. When my dauhgters became 10 years old, we didn't have such a custome.

Probably because of decreaseing the number of children, such business appeared.

It is the good excuse to spend "money".

Actaull we really enjoyed good quality steak!

Additionally, our granddaughter asked us to have good steak instead of presents.

Good morning 0802

It is Friday, the last weekday of this week. I always say to myself that I should do what I can do today. 

This week, our daughters and grand daughter came to celebrate our granddaughter 10 year old birthday. It is said “half coming age of ceremony “ and our elder daughter career up. 

It was our summer vacation. 

We have nothing special in August. 

Today in the evening a woman is going to visit my home library. 

Anyway in the morning I should go to the gym.

From this iPad, photos are not be able to be uploaded.

Hmm, I want a new iPad. I might buy an inexpensive new one.

Good morning 0801

August has started. The really hot weather is not letting up at all. Yuki is wondering whether he should go playing tennis. Probably it is the first time he says such a thing. It means it is really hot. I will go to a clinic to get my medicine. Then probably I will go to the gym in the afternoon. 

Yesterday,  I drew up two post cards with my Haiku.  I take them to a city community center. They are volunteering post cards. They are going to send to some elderly people who live alone by city office.