trouble shooter 0822

Yesterday we went to Tokyo to see Yuki’s mother. Since she moved to current nursing home, one year and three months have passed. Unfortunately her speaking ability is getting worse. The good thing that she has a good appetite. She is no 96 years old. 

Trouble shooter  2024/08/22 

Though I’m nursing my mother at home. I work as a caregiver

I work parttime as a caregiver. I’m in my 60’s. Last year I took back my mother from a nursing home. 

At that time, I thought I could nurse my mother at home, So I changed into a part time worker, use the elderly nursing system, help other people with my mother’s nursing. But the real life is hard than I expected. It’s completely different from my work. I can’t control my feeling about my mother. I often use bad words to her and think how long she will be alive

When I see people who are fine, I hope they will be alive as much as possible. Nut when I see ill mother, I can’t be kind to her. I often think I hope she would pass away early. I hate such me.

My elder sister is so ill that I can’t ask her help. Currently I think I will pass away earlier than my mother, of course I can’t leave my mother alone. I think that nowadays, no one shouldn’t live a long life, I feel I am becoming weirdo

Adviser (writer)

Even though you are a professional caregiver, it is usual you think such things and behave in such a way.

When I nursed my mother, her caregiver said “I can’t nurse my mother by myself, another caregiver nurses her, because I can’t control my feeling to my mother.” Though it might be difficult, is it possible that your mother will live in a nursing home again?

If you think her last life is not so long that you want to stay with her, please keep the place you can escape from your daily life. Please make your time that you forget your work, nursing your mother like massage room, or going to the live house and so on.

In my case, when I accept that it is the last time that my mother educates me, I feel calmer than before.

Nursing doesn’t continue permanently. Please take care yourself.

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I hope that this my writing makes sense. 

 After reading this trouble shooter, I thought my mother’s case. The first trouble between my brothers was whether she stayed at home or at a nursing home. My youngest brother and I suggested my younger brother to stay my mother at a nursing home. But he rejected strongly.

And now I’m worried what action I will take when my husband gets worse.