troubleshooter 0910

Unfortunately on troubleshooter of this week , my interested article wasn't chosen. So I tried to translate by myself.

Anyway I learned it seems to often happen to cut off between siblings.

--------------------------------

I haven’t talked with my sister who lives in the same house for more than one year.

Dear troubleshooter

I’m in my 30’s. My sister who lives together is three years older than me and has emotional ups and downs. When she gets upset, she tends to talk less. Sometimes she didn’t talk with me for a while. But this time, she hasn’t talked with me for more than one year. It is the first time to last the situation.

My sister was unable to go to school for a while when she was in junior high school. But she went to college, and got a national qualification. She works now. So my mother is proud that my sister overcame her experience of missing school. So my mother always prioritize how my sister feels than any members of my family.

A few years ago, when I introduced my boyfriend to my family, my sister got so upset. Since then there has been an unspoken rule not to talk about my boyfriend at home. Then I told my parents that my boyfriend passed a national qualification secretly. Since the next day my mother hasn’t talked with me.

I’m really tired of being concerned about my sister. I really understand the way my parents are concerned about how, so I can’t show my feeling. I’m really full of stress when I think about my parents nursing issue after I get married. What will happen to us? How do I deal with this family problem?

Advice

Dear Ms.E

Between sisters or brothers whose age is closer, they sometimes become rivals, and sometimes hate each other. I think for your sister you are considered as her rival to get good rating from your parents.

I advise you to be apart such a pointless conflict. 

You have a job, so living by yourself is one way to be apart. It is necessary to keep the distance mentally and practically.  You need not to be controlled by your sister’s emotion. 

You don’t have to think about your parents’ nursing issue. Because it is the long way off.

You should focus on what you can do now. It means you should become the person who is not controlled by current your sister.

What is important is not to be on age when your sister get upset. If you always stay composed seeing your sister, you are not afraid of anything about the future of you and your family.