Good morning 0918

 Yesteray’s moon was called “ chusyu no meigetsu”. It means mid-autumn harvest moon. Sometime  the moon gets a full moon on the day. It happened last year. This year,  today the moon gets a full moon. The photo was sent from Yuki’s friend. Every year Yuki also took the photos of moons. But finally his camera was taken by our elder daughter. It was difficult to take the photo of the moon by iPhone.

On the day of mid-autumn harvest moon we have a custom to eat sweet dumplings.  I was going to buy some. But fortunately or unfortunately yesterday we got lots of donuts. So I didn’t buy the dumplings. 

Good morning 0917

 

Yesterday a friend visited us with figs. It was the first time for us to have figs.

Finally it is getting cooler, though it is still hot. I have still a trouble of my dizziness, I manage to control it. It is funny that I am not feeling well physically and mentally without severe illness, on the other hand Yuki keeps in good shape with no symptoms. Some of his tennis mates have some troubles on their backs, knees, or elbows. Additionally some of my gym mates have also some trouble on their back, knees, and shoulders. When I feel such pains, I take acupuncture immediately as soon as possible. 

Today two pairs of a mother and her kids will visit my home library. 

lunch diary 0914

 This month Yuki could take his immunotherapy again. We were really happy.

Probably next month, it will be the last treatment. After that we will talk with the doctor about the nest steps.

What are the ways to prevent its recurrence? It might be difficult.

On the other hand for a while he has to face to his pneumonia,though luckily he has no sympoms. It is controlled by steroid. However it is a good thing to be controlled.

This week two visiters are going to come to my home library.  I try to forcous on happy things!

On the day we are at hospital. It was a really long day. I took onigiri (rice ball) for my snack.

Good morning 0913

 

Yesterday, we had a call from our lawyer. So we went to see him. The last document was sent from my brother. I think it is the last work about my mother’s inheritance.  In my case I was in deficit, because I asked  the lawyer the procedure. However thanks of the lawyer I could avoid to talk with my younger brother. It is a sad thing for me. I did’t want to break up our relationship, though it can’t be helped.

Before visiting the lawyer  Yuki and I had a coffee break at a cafe. Unusually Yuki  said “ this iced coffee is tasty.” It means he understood what a cheap bottled ice coffee  he drinks at home. (I seldom drink iced coffee)

Well, today it is the day we go to the hospital. Yuki’s condition is good, so probably he will be able to take immunotherapy today. 

Good morning 0912

 

Yesterday, instead of the  visitors who were interested in my home library, Ms.M  who lives next door,  came. We made “shiso “ juice here. When I was cutting shiso leaves which grew too much, she talked to me. So we decided to make shiso juice  together.

In the afternoon I was almost taking a nap. I think now it is my charge time, so I accept myself who doesn’t do anything .

Good morning 0911

 

I finished my performance with my friend. This time we had much audience. We were very happy.

Today a mother was going to come her kids to my home library. So I have no schedule. Do I go to the gym? I stay home quietly without exercise. I will do yoga.

Once I got ill, I started feeling depressed sassily.

Can!t something done about this depressed feeling, though I take medicine?

I will make youtube of yesterday’s performance. I have some things I do today. 

Yuki has already gone to play golf. 

Good morning 0910

 

I suffer from summer fatigue. I had lightheadedness badly, so that I was taken to the clinic. I took the medicine, and was asleep yesterday. 

Today I am not so bad. Anyway in the afternoon I am going to karaku cafe to play the  piano. Yuki is going to take me there. Anyway  he is with me now. I depend on him simply. (I won’t think about our near future.)

Our elder daughter is busy in preparing for traveling to Senegal. She is going to make something there for one month. An art gallery supports her and Japanese Embassy in Senegal helps her. This is kind of  culture exchange project. 

Every member in my family do their best each day. I should do what I can do. 

lunch diary 0907

 

 

Recently I often make eggplant comport. Have you made it?

A new week has started. This week we should go to the hospital.

Good morning 0906

 

It is the last wee day of this week. This eeek seems to pass faster than usual. Probably the reason was that we were outside on a Wednesday all the day. 

Today I will go to the library in the morning. I was asked to tear apart a kimono from my friend.  So luckily I have a thing what I should do while watching TV. 

Though I have some things I will try every day, but it is not necessary things. So I tend to skip —- like going to the gym, practicing the piano, studying English, making haiku, and so on.

It seems to be hot. Anyway we do what we can do today. 

Good morning 0905

 

It is sunny, and probably it will be hot. Yesterday, Yuki went to play tennis and came back earlier than usual. I went to the gym and one circuit exercise. Then we went to the concert at noon at the city hall. It was free, but it was wonderful. We listened to the music by Japanese instruments for the fast time in a long time. 

This concert was about 15 years old. This time we went to see their concert.

Good morning 0904

 

It seems that the scorching heat has gone, though it is still hot. We sleep without air conditioner  at night. I am thinking about going to the city hall to listen to a 40 minute free concert  at noon alone. It means I am thinking about skipping the gym. If it had been rainy we would go to the concert.

Anyway what I should do the first is going to the gym. After I come back to the gym I will think about to go to the concert. 

Good morning 0903

The Disaster Prevention day is on September 1. Many people (probably) do something.  Actually at school, or at office disaster drill exercises are hold. 

We check our emergency kits. Some emergency foods are near the expiration days. So last night we had boil-in-the-bag curry. And I ordered new ones on net.

I also drew up voluntary picture cards of this moth. I take them to the community center today “before going to the gym.

Lunch diary 0831

 

This weekend "I" stayed home because of the typhoon. But fortunately we didn't have any big troubles. Yuki could join the live stage in KUROISO which is the next next city.

I decided to stay home during the typhoo. So I took the courage to open ZOOM meeting at my English Picture club HP in the afternoon.

I thought no one would come. Becayse I have a few customes of the HP. Than I expected everytime someone came. Two were my old friends, And the other two were new people who sometimes drop by the HP. 

They are intereseted in my home library, so probably they will come to my home library and  look at my collection directly.

Keeping my home library is not a business. It is one of my way to keep coneection with society. It was a really happy weekend.

Good morning 0830

 

Typhoon is moving very slowly, it still stays in southern Japan keeping heavy power. However we often have sudden heavy rain even in this eastern Japan.

My friend  who lives in the next prefecture got cataract surgery the day before yesterday. She is 70 years old. She still works so she is busy. But for a while she stays home. So I called her. Once we started talking , it became a long talking. 

Here in Japan after a cataract surgery it is troublesome or difficult (for the elderly) to handle some kinds of eye drops. In my mother’s case after her surgery I stayed with her for three days, then I always called her at the time she had to apply her eye drop.  In my friend’s case she sets a timer. When the timer rang, our talking was finished.

I am also diagnosed with light cataract. Actually my eyes condition are not so good even though I apply eyedrops. Next week I will go to eye clinic again. 

Good morning 0829

 

Typhoon is still here in south Japan. In this area we don’t have big troubles yet, but the weather is unstable. This Sunday Yuki is going to join a big live at a park. But it is not sure to be held. Last year the next day he joined the same live, he hospitalized. 

It is cloudy now, but probably in the morning we don’t have heavy rain here. Yuki is going to play tennis. Yesterday he didn’t go there. I should go to the gym. 

I read a book written about negative  capability. The contents were interesting, but the writing style was difficult. So I often fall asleep while reading it. Anyway I read it until the end.

I want to make my negative capability strong. 

trouble shooter 0824

Typhoon is coming. It is raining, but not so strong. Monday trip to visit Yuki’s mother was the best plan. We were surprised that even in this area r bags of rice are almost sold out at most of the supermarkets. 

I hope my writing of this trouble shooter makes sense. 

 2024/08/24 05:00

I am in trouble. My mother who is in her early 80’s calls me. I’m in my 50’s and a parttime worker.

----------------------------------------------

My mother had an operation of her back and hospitalized for a while to rehab. She gets fine, but it got be difficult to live alone. So now she moved from her house to a elderly nursing home.

When she lived in her house, she often called me. Now, she called me everyday a few times. When I don’t answer her phone, she calls my home phone and sends some e-mails. What she talks is some help, her old day stories, or complaining. They are not urgent matters.

I try to answer her as much as possible. I know she is full of anxious because she lives in an unfamiliar elderly nursing home.

She can’t wait to call me after I finish to work, even though I tell her “I’m working now”. Now I became unstable to hear the phone. She says “it doesn’t matter to call you”. Am I selfish?

Adviser

Your mother must be fine and positive.

She rehabbed very hard. She must be so energetic that she calls or sends e-mails. And of course, she feels loneliness at a new elderly nursing home.

From my situation, what I can say is that “while your mother is alive, you are able to give back to your mother. Because recently my mother passed away. 

But the more important thing is you are in a good shape. If you are sick, that is backfired. You keep health mentally and physically.

So how about making a rule with your mother?

For example, when you wake up, both of you make sure that both of you are fine. After finish dinner, talk about what happened on the day. Twice a month you visit her. Making a schedule makes her stable and spend days regularly

Or you ask your mother’s friends or relatives to tell her “You should obey your mother”.

I hope to make atmosphere “. Be guided by your children when you are old” naturally

Anyway, your mother is always with you mentally. Please try to many different ways which you can do, to make both of you happy.

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When I was in my 50’s. The same thing happened to me. So we decided to make a phone call every Wednesday afternoon. We would talk more than 2 hours on the phone. And At least I visited her once a month.

I really understand the adviser saying “while our mother is just alive, we are able to give back to her”.

However, to tell the truth, at that time Wenday’s call was a little bit burden for me. Visiting her was also troublesome. 

Now I can say that at that time, I did everything as much as I could. If I haven’t done that I would regret now.

I believe I could do what I could do for my elder mother.

trouble shooter 0822

Yesterday we went to Tokyo to see Yuki’s mother. Since she moved to current nursing home, one year and three months have passed. Unfortunately her speaking ability is getting worse. The good thing that she has a good appetite. She is no 96 years old. 

Trouble shooter  2024/08/22 

Though I’m nursing my mother at home. I work as a caregiver

I work parttime as a caregiver. I’m in my 60’s. Last year I took back my mother from a nursing home. 

At that time, I thought I could nurse my mother at home, So I changed into a part time worker, use the elderly nursing system, help other people with my mother’s nursing. But the real life is hard than I expected. It’s completely different from my work. I can’t control my feeling about my mother. I often use bad words to her and think how long she will be alive

When I see people who are fine, I hope they will be alive as much as possible. Nut when I see ill mother, I can’t be kind to her. I often think I hope she would pass away early. I hate such me.

My elder sister is so ill that I can’t ask her help. Currently I think I will pass away earlier than my mother, of course I can’t leave my mother alone. I think that nowadays, no one shouldn’t live a long life, I feel I am becoming weirdo

Adviser (writer)

Even though you are a professional caregiver, it is usual you think such things and behave in such a way.

When I nursed my mother, her caregiver said “I can’t nurse my mother by myself, another caregiver nurses her, because I can’t control my feeling to my mother.” Though it might be difficult, is it possible that your mother will live in a nursing home again?

If you think her last life is not so long that you want to stay with her, please keep the place you can escape from your daily life. Please make your time that you forget your work, nursing your mother like massage room, or going to the live house and so on.

In my case, when I accept that it is the last time that my mother educates me, I feel calmer than before.

Nursing doesn’t continue permanently. Please take care yourself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope that this my writing makes sense. 

 After reading this trouble shooter, I thought my mother’s case. The first trouble between my brothers was whether she stayed at home or at a nursing home. My youngest brother and I suggested my younger brother to stay my mother at a nursing home. But he rejected strongly.

And now I’m worried what action I will take when my husband gets worse.

lunch diary 0824

 

There is only one week in August, thought it is still hot.

According to the weather forcast, another typhoon is coming this week.

Anway today we go to TOKYO to visit Yuki's mother and my parents and grandparents grave. This time we don't see anyone except the staff of the nursing homoe.

Good morning 0823

 

Good morning. It is cloudy and humid. Compared to the last week it is getting cooler. Yuki doesn’t use the air-condition when he sleeps at night. 

We enjoyed yesterday’s Costco. We bought something within our budget. 

Today the morning I hold laughter yoga meeting. Then after having lunch Yuki and I go downtown to get his new glasses. If we have time we will drop by the  library. In the evening we go to dentist nearby. 

Yesterday I got karuta cards set for the elderly. Karuta is traditional Japanese playing cards. The cards title is “frailty prevention. One good and laughing phrase is written in each card. Of course today I will use them.

Good morning 0822

 

Today it is our Costco day. In the morning I take  a cognitive behavioral at a clinic. While I am taking it, Yuki buys his necessary things at Costco. (Mainly, syoucyu alcohol, sports drink, and —- . I don’t know, his Costco list is constantly updated.) Then he picks me up . We go to  Costco again for our lunch. If the food coat is full, we have lunch in the car. If I need something more we also do shopping again. 

I’m not sure how effective my CBT therapy. Thankfully it is covered by our health insurance. Seven months have passed since I took it in January. I feel I got calmer though I struggle against anxiety. And the doctor is one of the few people to talk about our situation. But unfortunately she is a doctor. I feel there is a line between us. 

trouble shooter 0820

 2024/08/20 05:00

I have a guilty conscience, because I retired earlier even though I was still able to work.

I’m in my 50’s. I was a teacher of elementary school. Now I live in my husband. I retired this March. I lost my passion to work, I couldn’t focus on my work. So I felt guilty about my students and colleagues. So, I decided to retire earlier. I had trouble deciding about early retirement for a few years. My husband understood me. Now I want to spend my daily life calmly doing house errands and so on.

On the other hand, I have a guilty conscience. These days it is said we should work while we are health regardless of age. I know it might be good for our current life and retired life. But doing house errands is also a hard work, I think, even though housewives cannot earn money directly.

Probably I want to deny the formula “quitting job and becoming a house wife” equals “no work”.

Adviser 

I think you must have been a wonderful teacher. You did all your best with your strong responsibility.

Some people say that the formula you said is right. However, there are many different kinds of people. Such people think that doing house errands without fee is a really tough job. They are proud of being a housewife.

Now it is a good opportunity for you to take a rest. You should your decision to retire earlier positively. Housewives are also working people, even though they don’t earn money directly.

Only earing money is not work. Rasing kids, nursing your family, and doing house errands are tough jobs. And focusing on what you want to do is also very important to make your life meaningful.

From now, you have entered a new world. You must meet new people, new experience. Please relax and enjoy your new life.

--------------

The other day one of my former colleagues was celeberated her 30 year works. It was a great thing. She is in her 70's. She is still work. Actaully I envied her a little. I have no regret to close my school. I am proud of being a housewife (probably.)

On the other hand the life with no salary is ---- sometimes makes me worried. I know probably we are able to manage to live, even though paying higher medical fee than we expected.

I know we don't know what will happen in a few minutes.

Good morning 0820

 

Good morning. The lightning last midnight  was terrible. Now it is sunny, and it seems to be hot. 

Yesterday we talked with our doctor who is a radiologist. And we asked her about Yuki’s treatment plan after current immunotherapy. We are going to go to the hospital for follow-up. (This time his tumor marker is higher than the last exam.) We asked about some preventive treatment which are not covered by our health insurance. She tried to hedge the question about them. We know her situation. However we were a little bit disappointed, though it can’t be helped. 

After seeing the doctor we went downtown to do some errands. It took longer than we expected. So I didn’t go to the gym yesterday. 

Today I should go to the gym. 

lunch diary 0818

 

Have you ever seen or experienced this vending machine ? Fresh oranges are stored in it. And they are automatically squeezed to make fresh orange juice. 

Today we go to see another doctor. After getting CT check we always talk with two doctors in the same hospital.  Then we should do some errands downtown. Yuki also goes to his skin clinic in the evening. Do I go to the gym in the evening?

Good morning 0817

 

Yesterday we went to the hospital. This time he also could take immunotherapy. When he goes to the hospital, he has to take blood test. He has to finish having meals two hours before the test. Yesterday,  it was a very early appointment. So after the blood test we had quick breakfast at the hospital.

In the evening we went to an eyeglass store to change Yuki’s glasses.

Well, this week we spent  lots of money. Of course the highest spending is this iPad.

Good morning 0815

 

It is sunny, it means it has already got hot. Typhoon is coming. Tomorrow and the day after tomorrow , it will be a bad weather. —-tomorrow it is the day to go to the hospital. 

Yesterday I talked with an owner of our familiar orchard of Japanese pears.  They are going to open next week. They are really afraid of typhoon. It might attack their fruits. 

As I always say, I am often full of small various anxiety, and can’t move.

So I should focus on what I can do now. 

Well, I tried to say cool, though it is true. I am thinking —- whether I should go to the gym in the morning or not. Probably I will do one round exercise. 

Good morning 0814

 

Good morning. Yesterday’s performance was all right. Though it was in Obon vacation we( my friend and I) had enough audience. To tell the truth, yesterday I suffered summer fatigue, so when I finished my performance, I went to bed. Yuki bought simple dinner box.

Today I will spend at home lazily, though the gym is open. I got lots of eggplants from our neighbor. So I am going to make eggplant comport with wine. 

Good morning 0813

 

I could post today’s breakfast. Why?

Finally I got a new iPad. This iPad is about 48000 yen. I didn’t buy the most expensive one. 

It was the first time to spend Obon  vacation at home with Yuki and me . I was busy to set up this iPad. 

Yuki enjoyed ? playing tennis under this severe sunshine.

Today it is my performance day at Karaku cafe.

Obon vacation has not finished, many (business) people are still in Obon vacation, though on calendar  it is a usual weekday today. 

lunch diary 0810

 

Now it is in OBON vacation. It is the first time for us to spend this vacation with two of us. No one comes, and we don't need to go to Tokyo.

We spend usual days. Yuki plays tennis. I spend days laizly, because the gym is closed.

Anyway hot days have continued, so I often give up to cook rice. Our main food is noodles.

Good morning 0809

It is Friday. It seems to get very hot. In the morning I will attend my Haiku meeting. I refined my haiku last night. It was u usual thing for me. I might be getting greedy to accept my haiku from others.

In the afternoon a mother and her kids will come to see my home library. They will borrow some English picture books. Now it is I summer vacation. I sometimes have inquiries about my home library. When someone comes I always present some English picture books. It is one way to discard my books.

So, today I am busy. It is a good reason to buy lunch or delicatessens outside. 

Good morning 0808

 Yesterday Yuki had a CT examination. It totally slipped our mind that now it is August.

We needed to renew Yuki’s high-cost medical expense benefit. Thanks of this system and our health insurance, we continue this immunotherapy. But it is not free. At least we pay about 50000yen every month for treatment of his malignant tumor.

In the afternoon we went to a city hall branch nearby to do the procedure.

Fortunately Yuki has his private cancer insurance, so the treatment cost is paired by the insurance partly. Luckily this immunotherapy was accepted as a standard treatment four years ago. This treatment will finish in November (?). After that how we face to this situation? We are thinking. We might take another treatment to lower the risk of  its recurrence.  In this case any insurance aren’t be applied. 

Next week we need to talk about it with the doctor.

Good morning 0807

Yesterday, we went see the lawyer. Probably lay it is the last time to talk about my mother’s inheritance issue. Though I abandoned my right to inherit it, I did not want to talk with my younger brother about it, so I asked the lawyer to meditate. Fortunately or unfortunately we needed to know a lawyer because of Yuki’s mother property issue, of course she is still fine. We thought Yuki’s mother inheritance issue would have happened before my mother’s one. But my mother’s issue happened first. So I could ask the lawyer about it. 

I think I could deal with this issue calmly thanks of the meditator. 

Today Yuki has a CT examination. He has to get it once every three months. Next week we will see the doctor. 

Since his malignant tumor was found, almost one year has passed. Anyway fortunately he keeps in good shape. He seems to coexist(?) with it.

trouble shooter 0804

 

Trouble shooter 0804

I want some support in my old age

 I’m in my 70s. I am a public health nurse. I live alone.

As of now I’m healthy both mentally and physically. I join some activity groups, do volunteer and work sometimes. However, I’m anxious because I don’t know when I get ill or injured. I don’t any friends in my neighborhood. I know about public nursing insurance, but the system is for people who really need some nursing care.

I want some people who support me when I get sick, or attend me to go to clinic, or services. I want some people or services to support my daily life in my old age.

Where and who do I talk about my anxious?

 

Adviser (writer)

You worked for others very long time. I appreciate your all effort. Now you are worried in case of your emergency.

Before apply public nursing insurance, there are many services to support your daily in old age. First you should go to a social welfare consolidation in your city. They may give you some information like some NPO groups, or welfare business companies which are not for free.

You write this letter by e-mail. It means you can use a cell phone, or a computer. So, you can get some information by yourself on the net.

You are involved in some groups. So, the members of group must catch your SOS signals. Don’ hesitate to rely on the others. It is about time that your surroundings support you.

---------------------------

This article write my anxious precisely.

I don't know anyone who lives alone and don't have people like their kids or relatives , support them. I know some eldery people who live alone, but their kids or sibilings live nearby.

Of course even if their kis or sibilings live nearby, they might not get along with each other.

lunch diary 0803

 

Last week we celebrated our granddaughter's "coming of half age".

For all of us, it was the first time to celebrate such a thing. When my dauhgters became 10 years old, we didn't have such a custome.

Probably because of decreaseing the number of children, such business appeared.

It is the good excuse to spend "money".

Actaull we really enjoyed good quality steak!

Additionally, our granddaughter asked us to have good steak instead of presents.

Good morning 0802

It is Friday, the last weekday of this week. I always say to myself that I should do what I can do today. 

This week, our daughters and grand daughter came to celebrate our granddaughter 10 year old birthday. It is said “half coming age of ceremony “ and our elder daughter career up. 

It was our summer vacation. 

We have nothing special in August. 

Today in the evening a woman is going to visit my home library. 

Anyway in the morning I should go to the gym.

From this iPad, photos are not be able to be uploaded.

Hmm, I want a new iPad. I might buy an inexpensive new one.

Good morning 0801

August has started. The really hot weather is not letting up at all. Yuki is wondering whether he should go playing tennis. Probably it is the first time he says such a thing. It means it is really hot. I will go to a clinic to get my medicine. Then probably I will go to the gym in the afternoon. 

Yesterday,  I drew up two post cards with my Haiku.  I take them to a city community center. They are volunteering post cards. They are going to send to some elderly people who live alone by city office. 

trouble shooter 0722

 Trouble shooter 0722

I can’t accept the complains of my mother.

I’m in my late 20s. I am a pharmacist. I can’t accept and forgive the complains of my mother who is in her 60s.

My father is selfish, so he decides every thing without talking with my mother such as changing his job or buying a house. When he did something without talking my mother, my mother always complained about him to me. My younger brother also had lots of troubles among his friends or at school. When he caused troubles, she always complained about him to me, too.

So, I have done my best not to worry her more. I passed entrance examination and license examination on the first try.

As soon as my younger brother got to job, he quitted. He stayed home. I tried to suggest him to take a break from work before quitting, but I was stopped by mother. She said “you are not involved in this matter, so don’t say anything”. My heart broke off.

Because of my father and his brother, my mother complained to me. So, I used to fix her mood, sending some presents to her. But now I am too tired to contact to my mother. Do I accept my mother with initiative actions by myself?

Adviser Ms. Mogami (writer)

The struggle of your mother seems never to end. Daughters tend to be a role to listen to the complains of their mother. But you’ve already fulfilled your duty. Now you are full of negative emotion to your mother. It is correct to make a distance from your mother and your family. But you seek an advice because you are anxious. It means you are controlled by your mother without your noticing.

Your mother said “don’t interfere in the family matters”. So, without hesitation you should guard your own time. If you have to contact to her, you write a letter. And it might be good to add one sentence “not depend on me, you should find your own way to release your stress

Sometime a day you should face to your family without your wills. Until that time, you should train both your body and mind to endure the stress. As of now you keep in touch with many kinds of people and gain experiences. I’ll be rooting for you.

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When I was in my 50s, I didn't like listening to the complain of my mother. So I try not to complain to my daughters, ( I think).

On the other hand I really envy the mothers who complain something to their daughters.

And I know, such a day to face to mother's compalin will come.

At that time what will happen to my daughters?

troulbe shooter 0724

 

troulbe shooter 0724

My elder son who lives together said “I won’t forgive you ever”.

I’m a housewife in my 70s. About three years ago my husband passed away. Now I live with my elder son, his wife and their child in a multi-generational house. I get along with my daughter in-law. Sometimes we share homemade dishes with each other.  On the other hand, before my elder son married, I thought we were getting along with each other, but since he married, he has never answered to me. I have endured his attitude. One day I asked him that which part you hate me. He answered “I won’t forgive you when you scolded me who was in elementary school”.

I have four sons. It was really hard to raise them. So probably I would have sacrificed the eldest son. I’m really sorry to him because now I know how I hurt him at that time and it caused his unforgiven attitude to me. I get along with the other sons.

He seems not talk his emotion to his wife. If something happened to me, his family would take care of me. So, do I continue to endure his attitude?

Adviser Ms. Yamaguchi (an author)

You don’t have anything wrong. You don’t need to feel of guilt. Your son is strange. Men who are in their 50s, adults, and have their family usually don’t take such attitude.

You live in a multi-generational house. It means you and your husband shared the building cost of the house with your son’s family. So, it is really unfair too much that your son continues to ignore you. The reason is that simply you and your son aren’t compatible. His personality doesn’t match to you. It is nobody’s fault. If I dared to say, it is God’s fault. So he cannot stop resisting you against what you say and do.

You get along with the other sons It means you are proud of that you are a good mother.

And you get along with your daughter in-law. It is enough. You should consider your sone as a stone statue. You should give up his attitude to you.

If something wrong happened, we have public elder nursing insurance.

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This aritcle recalled me of my younger son. Probably we are not compatible, and only I don't realize it.

t

lunch diary 0727

 

Last week, we went to COSTOCO. We really enjoyed COSTOCO day every month.

Usually we had 180 yen hot dog (with free drink). Instead saving lunch fee, we enjoyed shopping. We constatnly buy bulgogi beef there. And I devide them into 7 small bags, then I freeze them.

Bulgogi is Korean food. Do you have one at a costoco in your country?

Good morning 0726

 Yesterday, “we” didn’t buy a new iPad. I was all right to buy the most inexpensive one. It is about 50000yen. But Yuki’s  result was most expensive one. It is about 100000yen. I am not familiar with the capacity and ability. And I am not into using iPad. So, for a while I use this one. It is about 10 years old. 

On the other hand we knew a freezer is less than 30000 yen. Both of us wanted. But where do we put it? So unfortunately we didn’t buy it. I know some people around got a freezer, who are into Costco.

Anyway we enjoyed Costco.

The main thing was for me to take Cognitive behavioral therapy. I did. This time the doctor and I talked about our positive things. Actually on the surface I have some events constantly every month. So I look like positive. In my opinion compared the old me I feel like that I don’t act so much. And nowadays I act with Yuki, so I am afraid of my future. I really relative how I relies on Yuki. The doctor said it is a cognitive distortion.

Anyway yesterday we had a good time. 

Topic is changed.

I have a question. 

Do you pronounce “ant” and “aunt” differently? Pronounce signs are the same. 

Good morning 0725

 It is the day of Costco (or it is the day that I take cognitive behavioral therapy). As you know I can’t upload photos from my iPad, yet. I might buy a new iPad at Costco. According toYuki’s survey Apple products are more inexpensive to buy at Costco than other shops including thinking about additional Costco point.

Yesterday I got a maneuver of amazon unlimited kindle. For a while I stopped. Bit both of us found some magazines on it, so I registered. I read a “magazine “ on my PC. I can read it on a big screen, so probably it is kind to my eyes. But I can’t “ thumb” though it. I didn’t feel like I have read the magazine, though I “watched” it. Is it possible to let PC read aloud on kindle app?

Good morning 0724

 Today, it is a usual weekday. But I am going to the gym in the afternoon. I will organize my summer clothes morning. And I will select some English picture books for small kids from the shelves on the second floor and change some books in my home library on the first floor the new selected books. 

How do I use my English book collection effectively?

Our Japanese books were almost sold at a second used shop. Then the others are displayed in my home library. Luckily some people sometimes borrow them. To say precisely most of them keep borrowing. We don’t mind. It is one way discard books  and make them effectively. So the number of our Japanese  books we store dramatically has decreased.

Good morning 0723

 Hmm..... it seems to be difficult to put photos on this blog from my iPad. Its version seems not to catch up with the blogger app. Is it a about time to buy a new iPad?

Today my friend holds a performance of her students to read aloud. I will go there...., but it is very hot. I thinking whether to go or not. .

Last weekend Yuki attend a jam session. There he met a man who organizes a music band NPO. Coincidently Yuki is going to dominate his wood bass to the NPO. And Yuki might help him as a volunteer staff of it. 

Additionally yesterday  I got an e-mail from a young mother. She seems to be interested in my English book collection. 

If we continue doing something little by little, something happens, even though it is not so big thing. 

lunch diary 0720

 

Last week, we completed our missions.

A lotaus flower opened. We went to see it before breakfast.

It is near our house. This lotaus grows in a big plantpot.

The big mission of this week is "Costoco".

(It means I will take cognitibe hehavioral therapy at clinic.)

Today we are going to go downtown. Then we are going to have lunch at a YAKISOBA restaurant Yuki found. 

Good morning 0720

 Yesterday Yuki could take immunotherapy. We talked with a nurse. She said that “ In his case the all medicine he has taken seems to go well with him. There are not so many patients who plays tennis almost every day. “.

I said “ I think there are not so many people to play tennis almost every day in such hot weather, even they are healthy, and retired “. (I know a retired man almost every day play golf in America.).

In this area, Japanese rainy season is finished. Finally hot and long? summer has come. I washed bed covers and sheets. I am going to hang them out to dry. We already hung Futon out to dry. We should take Futon in before going out. He is going o play tennis in the morning. I might go the gym in the morning. 

Good morning 0719

 Yesterday Yuki and his brother seemed to have a good time. After they played tennis, they came here to have tea, then they went drinking out near the station. I drove them to the station. After drinking, Yuki came home by “bus”. 

We go out in an hour. We see the doctor, then Yuki will take immunotherapy if he has no problem. While he is taking immunotherapy, I will go to the gym. 

All of our this week schedules are almost done. This weekend I (and Yuki) am going to revise our retirement life schedule notebook including budget, insurance, and so on. I revise it twice in a year. This time we decided to stop some credit cards, and another card has to be changed by its company reason. I always record such card information.

Good morning 0718

 Yuki’s younger brother comes in the afternoon from Tokyo. When he arrives at the station, he and Yuki are going to eat gyoza, then to play tennis. If it starts rain, they drink here in our house. Yuki’s brother retired this spring. For a while he is free. He will work after the Olympic. ( He seems to watch all games lazily.)

In the morning Yuki and I go shopping errands near our house. 

Good morning 0717

Yesterday lots of fresh vegetable , mainly Goya came from our neighbor. Fortunately at the night Yuki had his band practice, so he shared them with the members. 

When the neighbor gave me, I asked her “ is it all right to share the vegetables with his members?”. She said “of course”, then she went back to the garden and picked more. 

Today it doesn’t rain. So it is a usual weekday. It means I have to go to the gym in the morning. Because of unstable weather I feel really dull, though I always complain about my health. It is me.

Good morning 0716

 

This photo is yesterday’s breakfast. We are going to go out in an hour to take annual health check at city health center. No breakfast. So no morning errands except taking garbage out. Yuki is watching TV. I am writing this blog. 

Since we took annual health check last year, our life has changed. 

Almost one year passed. 

Good morning 0715

 

It is Monday, but it is the last day of three day weekend. We have no plan. 

We  borrowed some books at the library yesterday. We have a way to stay home lazily.

If it stops rain, we might visit nearby shrine. 

Yesterday I discarded ten things as usual. I will organize my book shelves which are full of picture books.

This week there are special schedules. We have to take annual health check organized by our city. Yuki’s youngest brother will come to play tennis if it doesn’t rain. And Yuki have to go to the hospital to take immunotherapy. 

Though we are spending retirement life, fortunately or unforeseen we always have some things to do except shopping errands. 

Good morning 0712

 

Today it is the last weekday of this week. On calendar we have a three day weekend, though for us there is no special plan. I will enjoy taking hot spring-like bath. 

It is cloudy, so it is not so hot. It is going to rain.though Yuki will stay in his room on the second floor. I hold a laughter yoga meeting. Probably three senior ladies will come. Today’s my mission is holding a laughter yoga meeting. Then I will spend at home lazily. 

Good morning 0711

 

It is cloudy, so today’s temperature isn’t so high, but humidity is very high.  Can Yuki play tennis, though it looks like it’s going to rain. 

I feel summer fatigue before coming real summer. We are still I. Japanese rainy season. Or I might be tired from socializing.

Yesterday in the morning I was sleeping. After morning errands, I took a bath putting special bath salt , so I felt like to take a hot spring. Then I slept. After I had late lunch alone (Yuki went playing golf all the day), then read a book.

I also practiced the piano. Yesterday a student came to practice the piano. (I have still one piano strident)

Then Yuki and had dinner. It was take-out cutlet bowl. I took  a hot spring-like bath again. And I went to bed. 

Today, anyway I am going to the gym to do 15 minute exercise. 

Good morning 0710

 

Today, I made potato and cucumber salad with mayonnaise, though I just sliced a cucumber.

Last night we went to a “Izakaya”. “Izakaya” is a Japanese style pub. Why? Yuki wanted to drink out. Since he retired and corona pandemic finished, he has had no (?) chance to drink out with someone. Actually two of us once went an Izakaya, it was not so fun for me. I don’t drink, so at that time I just ordered oolong tea .

This time “my” friend asked us to join her drink mates at a Izakaya. Yukik’s aim is to drink out. My aim? is to talk with her mates. 

It was fun. But her drink mates were considerate to him. And he drank lots, ( I think, but it seemed to be the same with the others) though his excuse was that he was considerate to the mates.

Since I and her knew each other, more than 30 years have passed. We are completely different, but we keep our friendship. Both of us say “ it is strange”. She become 70 this year, and she still works to drink out!

Good morning 0709

 

Though it is still in Japanese rainy season, it is hot and humid. When it rains, it rains heavily not drizzle. 

It is the day of my performance at Karaku cafe. I will put on summer clothes. Last month it was cold, so I was wearing thin sweater. 

Finally I changed clothes spring ones to summer ones. This time I could discard my old suits. 

Did I write it?

Yuki discard his M and L sized T-shirts and bought new Xl sized T-shirts. Without his illness, his belly is hanging out more because of aging. (Tennis and golf seem not to be effective to keep the figure)

 

We got the first goya from the neighbor. They have started green carten of goya.

The first goyas have already grown. They are still young. But there are many goyas. So they are thined out. We got some of them. (not some , too lots for us)

Good morning 0705

 

Today’s main is brand yogurt & cheese cake. Yesterday a friend came to bring them. She got them as a gift, but her husband doesn’t like cheese cake, and there are two members in her house. She asked me to share them. We love them. So she came and talked in the afternoon. 

Today I attend a haiku meeting. It is the time to study for me like school. (It means I always feel the tension there.)

Anyway I have to go out in an hour.

Good morning 0704

 

Yesterday I went to the eye clinic. It was the first time in a year. There, the doctor said “you have cataracts, but your glasses still work. You have enough eyesight with your glasses, so you don’t need any treatment yet”.

Here in Japan as of now people who are 70 or more can have cataract surgery with inexpensive price. Then people who are 75 or more than can take it with more inexpensive price. When my late-mother was 83 ( probably) had its one-day surgery. I was really surprised the price. It was almost the same as my roundtrip bullet train cost. (I think).

The doctor said another thing, “but, when you are 70, probably the service won’t be applied. It would be applied for people over 75”.

Well, I have no plan to have the surgery yet. But around me at least 4 women already had its surgery, though all of them are still in their 60’s. (To be correct, two of them become 70 this year.) 

Good morning 0703

 

It stoped rain. Yuki seems to go playing tennis as usual. I will go to eye clinic to eye drops. I think I constantly some clinic. It is more than Yuki goes to the hospital. Sometimes Yuki also go to the chiro in a row sometimes. Fortunately these days he doesn’t get a leg cramp. From the chiro side we seem go there in turn.

Fortunately in this season we have suitable rain in this area. So summer vegetables seem to grow well. I got Goya yesterday from our neighbor. I will make Goya-Champuru. I have to buy Tofu!

I walk to the nearby supermarket slowly as my walking exercise.

Additionally yesterday I got homemade Japanese plum juice from another friend. Yesterday I got many seasonal things! Lucky me!

Good morning 0702

 

My iPad is still working. It is working hard with a little capacity. It is more than 10 years old. 

While I hesitate to Muya new one, Yuki bought an iPod at a used shop. He uses iPod in his car to listen to music. His previous one was old like my iPad. The capacity is not so big, so he changed to another one which has more capacity. He “finally” (according to him ) found a suitable price and ability iPod at a used shop. The new one was about 9000yen. I don’t know it is suitable price or not. Anyway it is of course cheaper than latest iPod.

Today I am going to the gym. In the afternoon I am going to the chiro nearby to get a massage with my health insurance.  Y back pain seems to be worse than I expected., though I love massage so it is not troublesome to go there. I will walk there slowly. It is also a good light walking exercise.

lunch diary 0629

July has started.

Last week my friend droped by. We had lunch outside, then we had cake at home.

It was the first time in a few months to have fresh cream cake! MIYAZAKI mango is used. How luxulious!